I felt the miracle, it was you.
As dictated by Faranza Syns
Category: Songfic.
Author: Faranza Syns.
Nothing would go wrong today. From the perfect way I woke up, right down to the perfect, clear glow of the early morning moon.
Not hell or even high water would bring me down.
Not my mother's incessant yelling. Not my brother's unbreakable barrier of murky depression. Not my sister's high, shrill shrieks of strangled outrage, nor her younger sister's quiet obeisance to the law of the house, the rule that supposedly governs us all.
There is time enough for tears. For now, life would just remain perfect, untouched by the chaotic zephyrs of life, leaving me free to breathe. No choking here. No confusions, no running in circles chasing an evanescent dream.
"Kayla!"
I turned, and bestowed a smile on Erika. Just a smile. It was greeting enough. She understands me-- understands my situation. She is the roots keeping me grounded.
She approached me, something small clutched gently within her small hands. "Here," she beamed, holding the little package out.
The smile that had been playing on my lips widened. What she placed in my hand was the best gift yet that anyone had ever given me. Knowing Erika, it must have never occurred to her how much I would appreciate this. It was in her nature to give, and give freely she did. A special girl with the heart of gold. I could never ask for a better friend.
"Thank you," I thrilled. Looking down at the small packet of loveliness -- a small cupcake adorned with adorable swirls of cream.
"You've been smiling a lot lately," Erika mused. I smiled wider, unable to help myself, powerless to stop the pleasant heat suffusing my cheeks.
"Ahha!" Erika shot. "You've met someone haven't you?"
I stifled the wide beam on my lips, struggling to shrug nonchalantly at Erika's bulls-eye shot.
"You sly dog," she slugged my arm. "Who is it?"
"Not telling you."
Erika made a loud sound of disgusted disbelief. "And to think that I was worried about you."
Touched by her concern, I lurched forth and gave her a tight hug. "You don't have to worry anymore."
She stilled for a second. Then nodded and held me tight. "Good. Now I won't have to text you every other day to check on you. Now I'll leave it all to whoever it is that mystery guy is. Ugh," she said with mock disgust. I laughed, and let go.
Class went on as usual. Humdrum like it has always been. Except for those little things I've overlooked before. Like the low sound of Clay behind me, spouting jokes so blunt, and so forthright, that it sounded hilarious. My hilarity was made clear as I laughed more than once, joyful and as boisterous as I could ever be.
Little things like Marl's daily routine of self-choking whenever the Literature teacher stepped into class. The comical expression on her face was hard to miss, and hard to stay stern at. I had turned on my chair, laughing as she writhed on her table, seemingly dying out of misery and the lack of air. Marl had looked at me when the Literature teacher chided her, rolling her eyes and pretending another bout of severe seizures.
This time, although my laughter was drowned by many others, I could hear it clear in my heart. It resonated in the seemingly hollow chambers. It sounded full.
Just when I thought my little heart was going to burst, I calmed myself down a smidgen. And when all was suddenly silent, I heard again the small sounds that were my class. Clay's mutterings, Ian's not-so-quiet shout of attention, the blue streak coming from Lane's mouth, the small whispers interchanged between a few giggling classmates of mine. Me, with my head bent over today's Lit assignment... I just felt content. For once in my life.
"Hey Kayla!" Cate called. "We've got a dance routine ready for the performance next March. You wanna join?"
It was the first time. The first invitation. The first olive branch. Reluctant, I stared at Cate's smiling face. What if it all went wrong? The myriad of disasters awaiting me, they weren't pretty at the least.
"Come on," Neera coaxed with an adorable whine. "It'll be fun. And it'll be awfully empty without you."
I blinked, unconvinced. "Wouldn't I be intruding? I'm not fun to--"
"TOSH." Firanza slapped any of my objections aside, a small, indiscernible smile playing on her lips. "You're fun enough, alright. Trust me."
Trust me. Trust her. No one asked for my trust before.
I smiled up at them, furiously fighting back tears. "Sure. Okay."
Cate and Neera hooted with delight. Never had I seen people so pleased at having me around. This smile on my face... I hope it never fades.
***
I stumbled and nearly fell flat on my face. For many painful seconds, I paused, waiting for the coming laughter. A sound that would be mocking me, and my clumsy feet. Me and my misgivings.
The laughter came, and I cringed. For an anguished second, I stayed down, considering a quick, shameful escape out the gym doors.
Until Cate came beside me, laughing, collapsing. She laid down beside me, arms open wide, her erratic breathing slowing down. "Phew. That was a tough routine."
"Yeah," Firanza nodded, plopping down near me. "Oh, and nice save, Kaye. If it were me, I'd have rolled all over the floor, cursing a blue streak."
Did she just praise the way I fell? "I just..." my mouth ran dry. "I just found out that .. if you feel like falling, you jump, then get your footing again."
Neera laughed. "So that was what the frog-like jump was for. I see."
I am torn between laughing, or staring on at these girls, stupefied. Many years ago, I would have withdrawn from this conversation, preferring to lick my wounds in silence. I would have been blind to their warmth, their friendliness. Their capacity to forgive and make excuses for me. Their laughter would have hurt me deeply. But now, I see. They were kind, generous people. Why didn't I see this before?
I smiled. And laughed with them. Silly me. Strangers.. they could be kind people too. People who you could jump off plane with and laugh it off in the end. They were wonderful.
"You ho!"
Smiling, I turned to greet Zen. She approached me, and we air-kissed lavishly.
"Here," she handed me a note. "Some random guy from some random class passed it to me."
Random guy? My heart took on a staccato beat. Deep breaths. And heart, don't you dare stop beating.
Slowly, I opened the note. And broke into a smile.
Just the sight of his messy scrawl made my heart giddy, like it were ten feet high above the ground. After my rather caustic remark on his writing, he had tried to school it into some semblance of comprehensible writing. Looks like he was failing miserably.
Unbelievable, how much joy a heart can take.
"Tomorrow's a special day," Zen leaned against the table, eyeing me. I turned a beaming face her way. Zen rolled her eyes. "What are you going to do?"
When I didn't answer for a few seconds, she looked uneasy. "We could plan an outing. I mean, it is your birthday and--"
"But I thought you have a date with Clay tomorrow?"
Zen hid a pained look at that. I took in a deep breath. Years ago, I would have eagerly jumped at her proposal, completely blocking out the sight of her reluctance at playing along. But this year was special. This year was different.
I have him now.
"No, it's okay, Zen. You can have your date with Clay. I'll be fine. Better than fine, even."
"So," he said. "What did you do today?" The smile on his face... it was delectably sweet. His eyes, they looked at me, like he cared. Like he was listening. Like I, for once, held the spotlight in life.
"Well," I tapped my chin thoughtfully. "I danced, and I fell."
He laughed at me. Normally, I would have smiled up at him shyly. But this time, completely forgetting to feel shy, forgetting to hide in my shell, painstakingly thinking over my reactions, I slapped his arm playfully, laughing.
"What else?" he asked, grinning.
Once again, I looked up thoughtfully, not caring to look where I stepped, trusting his ability to guide me. Trusting him to protect me. For once, laying down my trust so starkly for someone to shield from harm did not feel so tough. Or so wrong.
"I laughed my butt off. And got some cupcakes from Eri."
He smiled. "I'd love some, thank you."
"Shouldn't it be 'I'd love some, please'?"
"Not when I'm sure you'll give it to me."
I threw my head back and laughed. Then, catching myself quickly, I closed my mouth, a hand placed above it. Goodness, that must've been embarrassing. I was so loud.
"You can't wait to feed me," he said, smug. Hands in pockets, he strutted by my side, tall and proud. Yet, in his eyes, I see a glimmer of joy barely suppressed. I see a human, flawed. I see a man, whose compassion and kindness outshone his imperfections. I see him.
"Whoever said so?" I retorted.
"It's the rule of a woman in love that they would want to feed their man."
I paused. It's the rule of a woman in love that they would want to feed their man.
Maybe he was right.
"Get out of here!" I laughed, shoving him disbelievingly. No way was I going to admit that it was true. I did not have the heart to stop my reactions. They were naturally honest. And I felt free doing it. Being myself.
"Hey! You can't help but love me, can you?"
"Yes, I can help it. Believe me, loving you needed a lot of... help." I nearly faltered. This was not something normal for me. Admitting such things are just not a part of my everyday routine. It did not come out easy, nor did it come out flippant. These things I say came from the heart. They mean the world to me.
I looked up at him, looking for a reply.
"Trust me," he said, leaning down, smiling at me. "Loving you needs no help at all. It's just easy."
A choked laugh escaped my lips. Maybe I'll trust him.
"Wait," I said, swinging our arms back and forth. "What's your full name, again?"
He grinned. "Guess," he dared.
I smiled wolfishly up at him.
That's right, guess, you idiots. Haha. Well, phew. Finally got that one out of my system. If you guys are smart, I'd say you saw some familiar characters in the story. Since everyone seemed to be in the "Valentine" mood, I really had to purge this from my mind. Intervensi is next week, either ways, so it's better I have this out of the way. Not nagging me every other second.
Oooh, and his name is eh... guess yourself la. Gahhaaa, I ain't tellin'.
;p
Disclaimer: Song is by Super Junior, entitled Miracle. Credits go to Aheeyah for such wonderful translations. I am not stealing the song, merely using it as a base for a fiction. A lousy fiction, but fiction nonetheless. Be happy. I am promoting SuJu here.
Oh, and bye bye, Tarrant! Enjoy Australia!
Dola bojiman go tona gara,
To narul chaji malgo sara gara.
Norul sarang hetgie hue obgie
Ju atdon giok man gajyou gara.
Author: Faranza Syns.
_________________________
Life couldn't get better
Life couldn't get better
Nothing would go wrong today. From the perfect way I woke up, right down to the perfect, clear glow of the early morning moon.
'Til now, the time without you in my life was full of darkness (without you baby)
Not hell or even high water would bring me down.
Not my mother's incessant yelling. Not my brother's unbreakable barrier of murky depression. Not my sister's high, shrill shrieks of strangled outrage, nor her younger sister's quiet obeisance to the law of the house, the rule that supposedly governs us all.
There is time enough for tears. For now, life would just remain perfect, untouched by the chaotic zephyrs of life, leaving me free to breathe. No choking here. No confusions, no running in circles chasing an evanescent dream.
"Kayla!"
I turned, and bestowed a smile on Erika. Just a smile. It was greeting enough. She understands me-- understands my situation. She is the roots keeping me grounded.
She approached me, something small clutched gently within her small hands. "Here," she beamed, holding the little package out.
The smile that had been playing on my lips widened. What she placed in my hand was the best gift yet that anyone had ever given me. Knowing Erika, it must have never occurred to her how much I would appreciate this. It was in her nature to give, and give freely she did. A special girl with the heart of gold. I could never ask for a better friend.
"Thank you," I thrilled. Looking down at the small packet of loveliness -- a small cupcake adorned with adorable swirls of cream.
But ever since I've met you, my life's been like a dream (baby)
"You've been smiling a lot lately," Erika mused. I smiled wider, unable to help myself, powerless to stop the pleasant heat suffusing my cheeks.
"Ahha!" Erika shot. "You've met someone haven't you?"
I stifled the wide beam on my lips, struggling to shrug nonchalantly at Erika's bulls-eye shot.
"You sly dog," she slugged my arm. "Who is it?"
"Not telling you."
Erika made a loud sound of disgusted disbelief. "And to think that I was worried about you."
When I first saw you (first saw you)
A miracle (a miracle)
Touched by her concern, I lurched forth and gave her a tight hug. "You don't have to worry anymore."
She stilled for a second. Then nodded and held me tight. "Good. Now I won't have to text you every other day to check on you. Now I'll leave it all to whoever it is that mystery guy is. Ugh," she said with mock disgust. I laughed, and let go.
I felt the miracle. It was you.
Class went on as usual. Humdrum like it has always been. Except for those little things I've overlooked before. Like the low sound of Clay behind me, spouting jokes so blunt, and so forthright, that it sounded hilarious. My hilarity was made clear as I laughed more than once, joyful and as boisterous as I could ever be.
Life couldn't get better (hey~)
I'll hold you in my arms and fly
Little things like Marl's daily routine of self-choking whenever the Literature teacher stepped into class. The comical expression on her face was hard to miss, and hard to stay stern at. I had turned on my chair, laughing as she writhed on her table, seemingly dying out of misery and the lack of air. Marl had looked at me when the Literature teacher chided her, rolling her eyes and pretending another bout of severe seizures.
This time, although my laughter was drowned by many others, I could hear it clear in my heart. It resonated in the seemingly hollow chambers. It sounded full.
We'll fly towards the blue moon (ho~)
I'll kiss you when you're sleeping
Just when I thought my little heart was going to burst, I calmed myself down a smidgen. And when all was suddenly silent, I heard again the small sounds that were my class. Clay's mutterings, Ian's not-so-quiet shout of attention, the blue streak coming from Lane's mouth, the small whispers interchanged between a few giggling classmates of mine. Me, with my head bent over today's Lit assignment... I just felt content. For once in my life.
Life couldn't get better (hey~)
Open your heart and take my hand
"Hey Kayla!" Cate called. "We've got a dance routine ready for the performance next March. You wanna join?"
It was the first time. The first invitation. The first olive branch. Reluctant, I stared at Cate's smiling face. What if it all went wrong? The myriad of disasters awaiting me, they weren't pretty at the least.
"Come on," Neera coaxed with an adorable whine. "It'll be fun. And it'll be awfully empty without you."
I blinked, unconvinced. "Wouldn't I be intruding? I'm not fun to--"
"TOSH." Firanza slapped any of my objections aside, a small, indiscernible smile playing on her lips. "You're fun enough, alright. Trust me."
Trust me. Trust her. No one asked for my trust before.
I smiled up at them, furiously fighting back tears. "Sure. Okay."
Cate and Neera hooted with delight. Never had I seen people so pleased at having me around. This smile on my face... I hope it never fades.
Life couldn't get better
***
I stumbled and nearly fell flat on my face. For many painful seconds, I paused, waiting for the coming laughter. A sound that would be mocking me, and my clumsy feet. Me and my misgivings.
The laughter came, and I cringed. For an anguished second, I stayed down, considering a quick, shameful escape out the gym doors.
Until Cate came beside me, laughing, collapsing. She laid down beside me, arms open wide, her erratic breathing slowing down. "Phew. That was a tough routine."
When I first saw you, a miracle (a miracle)
I love you baby and I'm never gonna stop
"Yeah," Firanza nodded, plopping down near me. "Oh, and nice save, Kaye. If it were me, I'd have rolled all over the floor, cursing a blue streak."
Did she just praise the way I fell? "I just..." my mouth ran dry. "I just found out that .. if you feel like falling, you jump, then get your footing again."
Neera laughed. "So that was what the frog-like jump was for. I see."
I am torn between laughing, or staring on at these girls, stupefied. Many years ago, I would have withdrawn from this conversation, preferring to lick my wounds in silence. I would have been blind to their warmth, their friendliness. Their capacity to forgive and make excuses for me. Their laughter would have hurt me deeply. But now, I see. They were kind, generous people. Why didn't I see this before?
I smiled. And laughed with them. Silly me. Strangers.. they could be kind people too. People who you could jump off plane with and laugh it off in the end. They were wonderful.
Life couldn't get better (hey~)
I'll hold you in my arms and fly
* * *
"You ho!"
Smiling, I turned to greet Zen. She approached me, and we air-kissed lavishly.
"Here," she handed me a note. "Some random guy from some random class passed it to me."
Random guy? My heart took on a staccato beat. Deep breaths. And heart, don't you dare stop beating.
Slowly, I opened the note. And broke into a smile.
Just the sight of his messy scrawl made my heart giddy, like it were ten feet high above the ground. After my rather caustic remark on his writing, he had tried to school it into some semblance of comprehensible writing. Looks like he was failing miserably.
We'll fly towards the blue moon
I'll kiss you when you're sleeping
Unbelievable, how much joy a heart can take.
"Tomorrow's a special day," Zen leaned against the table, eyeing me. I turned a beaming face her way. Zen rolled her eyes. "What are you going to do?"
When I didn't answer for a few seconds, she looked uneasy. "We could plan an outing. I mean, it is your birthday and--"
"But I thought you have a date with Clay tomorrow?"
Zen hid a pained look at that. I took in a deep breath. Years ago, I would have eagerly jumped at her proposal, completely blocking out the sight of her reluctance at playing along. But this year was special. This year was different.
I have him now.
Life couldn't get better (hey~)
Open your heart and take my hand
"No, it's okay, Zen. You can have your date with Clay. I'll be fine. Better than fine, even."
Life couldn't get better.
* * *
"So," he said. "What did you do today?" The smile on his face... it was delectably sweet. His eyes, they looked at me, like he cared. Like he was listening. Like I, for once, held the spotlight in life.
"Well," I tapped my chin thoughtfully. "I danced, and I fell."
He laughed at me. Normally, I would have smiled up at him shyly. But this time, completely forgetting to feel shy, forgetting to hide in my shell, painstakingly thinking over my reactions, I slapped his arm playfully, laughing.
What I want is
"What else?" he asked, grinning.
Once again, I looked up thoughtfully, not caring to look where I stepped, trusting his ability to guide me. Trusting him to protect me. For once, laying down my trust so starkly for someone to shield from harm did not feel so tough. Or so wrong.
A promise that we'll be together forever
"I laughed my butt off. And got some cupcakes from Eri."
He smiled. "I'd love some, thank you."
"Shouldn't it be 'I'd love some, please'?"
"Not when I'm sure you'll give it to me."
I threw my head back and laughed. Then, catching myself quickly, I closed my mouth, a hand placed above it. Goodness, that must've been embarrassing. I was so loud.
"You can't wait to feed me," he said, smug. Hands in pockets, he strutted by my side, tall and proud. Yet, in his eyes, I see a glimmer of joy barely suppressed. I see a human, flawed. I see a man, whose compassion and kindness outshone his imperfections. I see him.
"Whoever said so?" I retorted.
"It's the rule of a woman in love that they would want to feed their man."
I paused. It's the rule of a woman in love that they would want to feed their man.
Maybe he was right.
"Get out of here!" I laughed, shoving him disbelievingly. No way was I going to admit that it was true. I did not have the heart to stop my reactions. They were naturally honest. And I felt free doing it. Being myself.
If I were to be born again
"Hey! You can't help but love me, can you?"
"Yes, I can help it. Believe me, loving you needed a lot of... help." I nearly faltered. This was not something normal for me. Admitting such things are just not a part of my everyday routine. It did not come out easy, nor did it come out flippant. These things I say came from the heart. They mean the world to me.
I looked up at him, looking for a reply.
"Trust me," he said, leaning down, smiling at me. "Loving you needs no help at all. It's just easy."
I will still fall in love with you all over again
A choked laugh escaped my lips. Maybe I'll trust him.
* * *
When I first saw you,
A miracle,
I love you baby and I'm never gonna stop.
Life couldn't get better,
I'll hold you in my arms and fly,
We'll fly towards the blue moon,
I'll kiss you while you're asleep,
Life couldn't get better,
Open your heart,
And take my hand,
Life couldn't get better.
"Wait," I said, swinging our arms back and forth. "What's your full name, again?"
He grinned. "Guess," he dared.
I smiled wolfishly up at him.
___________________________
That's right, guess, you idiots. Haha. Well, phew. Finally got that one out of my system. If you guys are smart, I'd say you saw some familiar characters in the story. Since everyone seemed to be in the "Valentine" mood, I really had to purge this from my mind. Intervensi is next week, either ways, so it's better I have this out of the way. Not nagging me every other second.
Oooh, and his name is eh... guess yourself la. Gahhaaa, I ain't tellin'.
;p
Disclaimer: Song is by Super Junior, entitled Miracle. Credits go to Aheeyah for such wonderful translations. I am not stealing the song, merely using it as a base for a fiction. A lousy fiction, but fiction nonetheless. Be happy. I am promoting SuJu here.
Oh, and bye bye, Tarrant! Enjoy Australia!
Dola bojiman go tona gara,
To narul chaji malgo sara gara.
Don't look back, and leave.
Don't look for me, and live.
Norul sarang hetgie hue obgie
Ju atdon giok man gajyou gara.
Because I loved you, because I don't regret,
Just take with you the happy memories.
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