June 29, 2009

A fluke

As dictated by Faranza Syns

I was not pissed off at Suet Ling.

People, get off my back. I was just joking.

Please don't go assuming like that.

I just posted it to say that I realise it's going to be an unstoppable occurrence in my life. I entirely DID NOT mean that I was offended.

We're 17. I believe we've grown up enough to not be smote emotionally by such a petty matter.

Not everyone got an invitation to the Jubilee Ball, you know.

Mr. J, I hate you.


June 28, 2009

Always ending; always over

As dictated by Faranza Syns

From now on in, I will not respond to the name Hana.

If I do, I will screw myself over and it will be on your conscience.


Tomorrow's the day. I'm scared, nervous. Hyperventilating.

I want my dream to come to life (simply put, it's a we-lose-I-cry-guy-comes-and-kisses-me dream), but I really don't want to lose.

Ach, the things you give up for the long run.

It's just a bridge that we all have to burn.



As dictated by Faranza Syns

The name of the guy that nearly had my heart.

But then again, no matter how great one's English is, crooked teeth, sloppiness and the presence of a girlfriend in a guy's life is always a great turn off.

In simple English: the dude was taken and he doesn't fit my physical criterion of a suitable bf fully.


He was also one year younger.

REJECTED. (again)


I just found out that I wasn't invited to a birthday party because there was wine at the party.


That was the first time that I got pushed aside because of alcohol.


But then again, I don't expect it to be last time that it would happen. It's the way of things. In a way, I appreciate their concern. Yeah, I can't drink alcohol. *sigh*

Sometimes I wish I could get back at them: "No, I can't invite you because only people who don't look like they lack strips and chunks of cloth can come."

Meanie. But then again, grin and bear it, eh?

Stand there,
And you'll see the back of my single-girl swag.


Oh, the skeletons.

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Texts between mother and daughter during the wedding night:

Me: Now, now dear, pls don't get too excited abt tonight. First and foremost, mummy wud like to ask if u hv any questions abt 'snoring'. Any at all. xD

L: Hahaha. I believe my husband has gone off 'snoring' without me, mummy. Seems like he's bored already! ;(

Me: Tsk! No wonder I felt reluctant to marry u off. But with ur uncle 'Rasyid' starting to make a fuss of himself, (wht, did he think he cud MARRY you?!) I was eager to marry u off. Eventhough the first to ask for ur hand was Marc. Tsk, tsk, nvm dear, u can always snore with someone else. Tht's wht mummy did when daddy got bored, u knw. xD

L: HAHAHA. Oh my god, mummy! Do you mean to say that daddy isn't my daddy and I have a father out there that I have no clue of? *gasps dramatically*

Me: Shhh, dun tell daddy. I still want to divorce him n get a big part of his wealth, u knw. N sadly, yes, my dear. Ur real daddy is somewhere out there. I didn't want to tell u for fear tht u were too young to understnd. But nw tht u're abt to do a great deal of snoring urself, I feel safe to admit.

L: HAHA. Well, mummy I don't intend for MY child to find out that he or she doesn't belong to marc, my beloved husband! How could you do this to me mum?? How could you hide something so terrible for this long? How about MY feelings? Oh, the horror! Oh, the pain! HAHA.

Me: Well, I mostly did it for entertainment, but I hv to admit tht I did for d snoring as well. Tsk, dear, ur child won't need to knw. U just hv to make sure tht u only snore with ppl who resemble Marc. *sigh* tht was mummy's mistake. Mummy shudn't hv snored with tht hot, smooth-talking Chinese hottie at the debate club. Why do u think u look chinese when ur daddy is a malay (with only 1/4 chinese in his blood)? Phew, his snoring was smokin. Ahem. Yes, I believe tht cud b ur real daddy, dear.

L: HAHAH. Okay, forgive me for MY continuous starting of texts with HAHAs. It really is funny. You're good. I'm speechless. Gahahahahaha.

Me: Haha xD, I knw. Tht's y ur daddy married me-- my humour. God knws he doesn't snore with me. I wonder who ur daddy snores with. Well, as long as he doesn't snore too hard, n giv u d misconception tht he's snoring with me, I'm ok. BTW, whose snoring did u hear, anw? I've never snored with ur daddy snice after u were born.... DUN DUN DUNNN...

L: Oh my god! You mean it wasn't YOU?? This is preposterous! Daddy's been snoring with other people under our very noses?? Mummy, do something!

Me: Well, I CUD hire someone to record him in d act, but I doubt neither u nor me wud like to see (or hear) his snoring... I can't believe u've been lulled to sleep by some othr woman's snoring. Talk abt betrayal! I will change my will 1st thing in d morning. No more 5 million dollars for u.

L: No mummy, I want my 5 million dollars! I really thought it was you mummy! Where were you then when I heard the snoring? You should've been there! Oh my god! Could it be a threesome?

Me: Eek, I shud've been there watching daddy snore? ... A threesome? ... U knw, I've heard of this fabulous private investigator who could capture d most splendid footages - even if it's at night. Ahem. We'll split, fifty-fifty, no? Meanwhile, I will, ahem,discuss, ahem, with my lawyer, and then I might just sleep, n do a bit of snoring. ahem.

L: With the lawyer?? Mother! I never knew you to be THIS promiscuous! I feel like I've been cheated my whole life :( Hahaha.

Me: Why not? It's not like anything wud happen if we snored together. N d lawyer IS hot anw. Ahem. Learn frm mummy n choose wisely.

The part where I cringe and grin at the same time at what I said:

Me: There, there, baby, he doesn't NOT hv d balls to admit. The way i see it, there r 3 possibilities: he's waiting for d right time to admit; he's trying to grow bigger balls to admit it; or he's snoring. I vote for number two! Poor thing has small balls. Let's not laugh at him. Poor ol' sod. At least ur daddy had great balls.

L: Or he just doesn't like me. HAHA, i wonder what zan would say if he knew we were talking about him like this.

Me: Who said I was talking about Zan? Mummy has many snoring partners, u knw.

L: Oh, I'm sorry! I just assumed it was my LEGAL daddy you were talking about.

Nothing like a great dose of post-wedding jitters to get all that skeletons out of the closet, eh?

I will stop talking about you.
But it doesn't mean you're forgotten.


June 27, 2009

Continue to Persevere

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Redundance is my life. But I hate it when other people do it. It's illegal for them to form redundant sentences. Only I have the prerogative to do so. Hmmph.

As I was sitting at one of tables in the library, I saw one of those card thingamajigs they paste on the surface of the table. Sorta like trying to teach people how to use English words. I browsed, then saw:

...bla bla bla... continue to persevere... bla bla bla.

I stared at it a long time. I think my brain could not get over the fact someone could get it so wrong. It took me about a century or two to absorb the fact that such a sentence existed.
Then, I got back home and went on the net. Would you bloody believe it? Continue to persevere does exist. It's used by quite a lot of people. But you see, my brain still couldn't accept it. Persevere already means continue. So, you continue to continue in some effort, course of action, etc. in spite of difficulty... ?

I swear, I will never use continue to persevere. My brain would go into multitudes of seizures if I ever did.

Oh, and I just realised that my CBox is gathering dust, so I decided to just delete the darn thing. Pfft. There's the 'comment' section for a reason. The CBox would just be like a dead-limb hanging off my much abused sockets.


S: Arrgh, I can't do this. I need something... or someone... *glances at female debater*

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the forlorn speech of a stressed-out debater.

It's so bad that he repeats this sentence more than once. It's scary enough for the other female debaters who were with him to start freaking out.

He really needs a girlfriend.


Ah. It's not everyday that you marry off a child that you'd only discovered you had (Xin Huei, you have a sister!).

But of course, the two daughters of mine are from two different men. (I can't remember who your father was, Xin Huei. I'm sorry. I'll have to do some DNA tests for you.)

It was hilarious wedding. Nearly as hilarious as a big, fat, Greek wedding. But really, it's our own style of a wedding now, isn't it? The Alpha way. Teehee.

An exhibition wedding is so fun, isn't it? Especially when the parents of the Indian bridegroom turns out to be Malay and Chinese.

As we waited for the wedding to commence...

Laine: ...Mummy, shouldn't we talk about snoring, now? It IS gonna happen tonight after all.

Me: ... Let's leave it for later.

Laine: Mummy! I need to know now!

Me: ... What's there to it? You just take off your clothes, get under the covers, and snore.

Laine: ... But mummy, I don't sleep naked.

Me: ... Well, it's a good time to start.

And when the wedding was over, I heard Aja say to my son-in-law: "Don't forget your tongkat Ali, tonight!" *wink wink*

I was... ahem. Well, as long as it assists in snoring, I'm okay.

And please. If you even ASK me what 'snoring' is in this post, I will behead you.

What would you naturally do on your wedding night, my dears?

Oh, Mr J, why did you spurn me so?


June 25, 2009

And We Hear You.

As dictated by Faranza Syns

And it continues...

Wira Cup (School Team)

Dharrnesha (Permanent 3rd Speaker):
My dharr-ling. We are like... two peas from separate pods who met each other in the packet of mixed veggies. Yes, good analogy. But nonetheless, it is true. Can you imagine me and her coming from one-and-the-same mother? *shudder* Never put that image in my mind.

Nevertheless, we complement each other nicely. She the aggressor, me the (aggressee?) repressed. When debating, it seems that my performance influences her own. If I fumble and stutter, you can just bet that she'd have her "umm..." moments. When I fly off the handle in my speech, she'd go all sarcastic and sharp in her rebuttals. When I go all sweet on the adjudicators, she'd start getting all flirty with the Chairperson (gawd, how many times has she said "and a very good morning to the handsome [insert sultry look] Mr. Chairperson."? *shudder*). Despite her sultry, flirty looks however, her innocence in ... ahem... is rather the opposite of my ... experienced state. It actually amuses me endlessly when she is actually shocked by the careless way with which I speak of sex and all that it implies. And also by the off the bat way I say 'fuck', 'shit' and launch into a blue streak of curses.

We make a great team, her and I.

And apparently, according to Jehan, she has "eff-me" legs. Too bad Dharr forbade me from taking a gander at those legendary legs. Tsk. No need to get so self-conscious, Dharr. I've known about your legs since standard 1.

Sheng Rei (2nd Speaker):

He has this affinity with toilets, loos, and restrooms. Every single school we've gone to has accepted him into the smelly embraces of their toilets. This is the typical routine of a normal debating day for him:

  1. Go to school toilet
  2. Go to host school toilet before the quarantine hour
  3. Go to host school toilet after the quarantine hour (before debating)
  4. Go to host school toilet after debating

I have not actually checked if he does go to the school toilet everytime we get back to school. But I have a feeling I don't want to know. What kind of bladder does he have? A really small one, I'd say. Who goes to the bloody loo four times within 2 hours? Besides someone who's purging, that is.

But despite this idiosyncrasy, he's the best damn 2nd speaker we have right now. His notes are vague, and messy. I have no idea how he manages to get it all out in an orderly manner. And he gives the most outrageous examples. One even involved a crazed man, a wall, and a parang. Please don't ask what example it was. You'd crack a kidney laughing.

He so loves starting his sentences with "you know", "did you know", and "my aunt/uncle/grandma /grandpa/ mother/ father/ relatives etc. once bla bla bla..." So I suppose you can guess what kind of person he is. He can be oh-so-crude at times, and oh-so-annoying too. He's a neat-freak who sanitizes everything. He even sanitized a table for me and Dharr. It's a funny quirk, but it's adorable, so we try not to kill him when we tease him.

Jasmine (2nd Speaker):
She needs more rest. Haha. Heya, sexy cheerleader! She is the most bewildering mix of smarts and hotness. She's a debater-cum-cheerleader after all. It's shocking, isn't it? She barely has any practice at all. And I am proud of her. Despite her silence during most of the debate meetings, she somehow takes great pleasure in helping Pave (refer previous post) torture me. Especially when she comes online and taunts me about the male debaters that have traipsed through my life.

She managed to speak quite well during the first round of our debate competition. Not everyone could do that with so little, if none at all, practice and still remain calm and controlled. Kudos, dear! You've the makings of a great 2nd speaker. Me, Dharr, Kim and Pave will brainwash you and make you the best till you eat, live, breathe and speak 2nd speaker. We will revel in the beautiful process, I assure you.

Farhana (Permanent 1st Speaker):
And this is yours truly.


How come everyone once went "Eugh, Michael Jackson's such a prick!" yet, suddenly when he dies, everyone goes "Oh, MJ, rest in peace. We will miss you."?

I don't think I want to discover the innate intricacies of the human mind. And yet here I am researching on Psychology courses.

I'm a fake. Suppose it applies to everyone else as well? Because really, at one part of one's life, surely she or he would stumble across a time when they were unprecedented hypocrites.

I have a feeling the numbers for tonight are about to reach unparallelled heights.

Eek, did you just kiss it?!


That Green Tunnel, Our Voice Echoed

As dictated by Faranza Syns

These past few days have been hectic, draining.

But for some twisted reason, it's been really fun. The debate team, both the Wira Cup and the HELP University College team, is made up of awesome, super, wonderfully crazy people. I wonder why I never realised this last year? Suppose I was a bit too nervous to see that these people are super special. And I can feel an affinity with them. Despite the many misunderstandings we have (duh, it's a debate team. Of course there are misunderstandings), we managed to get it together, and we rocked it.

The loons of the group?

HELP Debate Team

Suprised me when he came up with some research stuff on one of the topics we were working on. He didn't entirely have to. He wasn't in the Wira Cup team anyways. But he helped out and it was uber great of him. He talks so fast that people rarely catch what he's saying. *grin*.

Kimberly Ng:
To be very blunt, honest, truthful, and to the point, I didn't entirely like her last year. I was okay with her, but I was no big fan. I have no idea if it's nothing personal, or maybe it IS something personal, but with hindsight, I'd say that I was intimidated, and annoyed. Initimidated, because I didn't have much of the makings of a backbone to even answer her heated debate questions, and annoyed because when she questioned us, she never ever gave us answers. And the rate we were all going, it got us all pretty agitated. But this year, when I've managed to get into the groove, and I could easily deflect her countless, deep, probing POIs, I feel like I've found someone who's just plain bloody awesome in debate. She finds our loopholes, and points out convincing arguments when we needed help. And of course, she's the link between us and Mr. Shafie. I doubt I wouldn't morph into one messy, confused puddle of putty if I had to talk to Mr. Shafie directly. She's a great supporter; honest, but not too annoying in her comments. She knew when to stop, I think. And yeah, she's no longer someone I'd be intimidated of. Because hey, I know her better now. Enough to know that she would also love to have sex on the table.

Ahem. Moving on.

Awesome-est researcher ever. Of course, us debaters never love that part where we had to stare at the screen too long. Reading the whole bloody article is out as well. And really, we never really got the knack of research. Amanda is awesome at that. The things she could find could bring me to multiple ahem... well, nevermind. But she's been great in her help. She's helped us find evidence. And really, Dharr loves her a lot. After all, only she could get Dharr to understand stuff (despite the ironic fact that I am the translator between the two. Apparently Amanda speaks some other language that Dharr doesn't understand, but that's a different story.) We've smuggled her into the quarantine room (legally) and then we pumped her for information. Really, she's priceless.

Pavethra Selvarajoo. Is scared of kitties. The person who sometimes has very little inhibitions is scared of one harmless cat. But despite it all, I love her. She shouts, screams, shrieks and really, she wants to jump me more than once (her words, not mine). Of course, I indulge her whenever I can. She talked of breast milk on her debate, and I really can never forget that one. Hi-bloody-larious, I say. She contributes actively in most of our discussions, although a great deal of the time, we'd end up talking about something really stupid and bawdy. Pave has also successfully managed to embarass me in front of each and every male debater of every school we went against. "Eh, Farhana, you're suitable for him, la!" "Eh, Farhana, go sit beside him, laaa." "Farhana, go get his number. Now!". All of this said right in front of the male debaters. If I didn't love her, you'd find a body without a head inside the school van. And she somehow managed to rouse the whole debate team to follow her lead. All I could do was nod indulgently and agree to go with her decision to jump me. "Go ahead, Pave. I don't mind. Jump me all you want." Because really, who am I to deny her what she needs?

~ TBC~

Some things should never be said.
One-eyed snakes should never be mentioned.


June 22, 2009

Been there

As dictated by Faranza Syns

And we WON.

But please, this is just the first round.

The extra qualifying round is tomorrow. And we just got our topic today. Brilliant, huh? And we're up against last year's champs, no less.

I know I'm about to sink in self-depression, but I actually feel really good about how I did today. (granted, the school we went up against was seriously NOT prepared.)

Hey, a full script is not necessary. I could just go with points and a little elaboration.

"We feel honoured to be able to debate with you today."

"You were awesome. Your English was... wow."

Thank you, my covey of admirers.

But actually, I salute them. The opposing team, I mean. They were very courteous. And when the debate was over, after our team got up, they instantly came over to talk to me.

And they're oh-so-much younger than us.

Makes you rethink your fear.

They're form 3 and 4, and you're form 5.

And yet, pissing your pants is still a worry for you when you debate.

They went up against you, and they tried to rock your socks off.

So, what excuse do you have to chicken out and pass the 1st speaker spot to your 2nd speaker?

None, Farhana A.

So, shut up and be strong.

Oh, and thank you, Afzan, E Von. Love you two lots.

Talk all that talk.
There's plenty to impress.


June 21, 2009


As dictated by Faranza Syns

It's tomorrow.

Wish me luck.

I need to die soon. Someone, hand me the rope.

Talking in circles was never my forte.


June 20, 2009

But that's your song with somebody else.

As dictated by Faranza Syns

It's sorta -- just a teeny-tiny bit -- sad when all the text you receive all day is from your English-cum-EST teacher.

But it's pretty gratifying to know that your guy called you and is pissed off you didn't pick up (eventhough you had pretty valid reasons to not pick up).

If you saw someone sitting at Starbucks all alone nursing a Mocha frap, that loser was me.

To sweet beginnings and bitter endings,
In coffee city, we borrowed heaven.


June 19, 2009

One wonders.

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Apparently my life will be swamped next week.

In between debating my sorry arse off and stopping by Starbucks to get a good drool over Mocha-guy, I'm about to become a mother as well.

Ah heck. Weirder things have happened.


Laine: Mommy, how come you and daddy aren't sleeping together?

Me: Your daddy's tired of me, honey.

Laine: Awh, but why?

Me: Beats me.

Laine: So you and daddy aren't sleeping together anymore?

Me: ...

Laine: But I miss the comforting sound of you two sleeping together, lulling me to sleep.

One wonders if one's child is a twisted perv masquerading as an artless teenager. Oh, yes, artless teenager is an oxymoron, no? Forgive me.

Laine: I miss the sound of you and daddy, the comforting sounds that let me sleep at night.

Me: .... Are you trying to tell me that you love sex sounds?

Laine: Ahha, you caught on!

One wonders how this crass child could ever be my offspring with a spineless man.

Me: Hey, did you all hear that? Laine loves sex sounds.

Laine: Hey! I could've just meant snoring.

Me: Ah, yes. Snoring. Indeed.

Laine: Yeah, I love hearing you and daddy snoring.

Me: . . . Very interesting.

I think the next time I sleep, oh pardon, the next time me and my husband sleep, I'd bar all the doors and most probably pad all the windows.

Never have I felt thusly violated.


I admit, lately I've been very sombre. But really, at this moment, I highly doubt that I can shake the feeling off.

Suppose it's time to really act serious?

One wonders.

Because you're imposing.


June 16, 2009

It's June

As dictated by Faranza Syns

And it's your birthday.

Geez, who said stable is boring? If you were boring, I'd never have been friends with you. A person who loves House as ardently as I could never be boring.

We've been friends for a long time. It's funny we haven't entirely driven each other up the wall by now. You with your droll, jaded talk, me with my incessant whining. But despite all that, we're a great pair, eh?

You stuck with me despite the many times that I had acted like a bitch. You're patient; you're one tough nut to crack.

And really, you're stable. You're reliable. But you are really not boring. Would boring people read gay love stories? Would boring people understand the endless streams of double entendres that I seem to spout every minute?

You're one excitingly boring person, then.

And hey, everyone's got their own specialty. You'll find yours soon, if you haven't. Trust me.

Happy 17th Birthday, Amanda Lee!

And hey, you're legal! (to drive)

This is a movement,
searching for my life.


And the words.

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Place: Ground floor corridor.
Time: Approx 2 minutes before recess ends.
Culprit: Dharrnesha I.R.
Crime: Singing a (accidentally, blatantly, crudely) sexual version of Don't Trust Me by 3OH!3

The scene:

It was loud, and it was the best time to sing under your breath and not be detected. Unless, of course, the person closest to you is yours truly. And so, our dear Dharrnesha was singing, and singing, and yours truly sang along.

"I said shush, girl,
Shut your lips,
Do the Helen Keller,
and talk with your hips."

And on and on we went, repeating the same old, boringly intertaining verse, until our dear, dear, seemingly artless Vice Secretary of the Prefectorial Board slipped, and sang the most crude song yours truly has ever heard.

(Besides the really crude rendition of I'mYours by Jason Mraz that had been marvelously thought through -- with very, very deep consideration-- by me and W. Ee Laine.)

"I said shush, girl,
Shut your lips,
Do the Helen Keller,
And suck with your hips."

To say the very least, yours truly was shocked. Before she began laughing her arse off, staggering away from the culprit who did not seem to have realised how her song had turned out.

D: What? What?

Me: No... *giggles* nothing.


Me:... You said "suck with you hips."

A moment of silence, if you please.



Me: Warrgh, it's not my fault! You sang it! *runs up a few steps on the stairs, then turns around*


Yours truly was without a doubt not guilty. What was she supposed to do when she heard something like that? Smile indulgently and pat someone's head?

Methinks not.



Place: The pathway towards the Skylite.
Time: Approx a few minutes after 7.50 a.m.
Culprit: W. Ee Laine
Crime: Using the term 'sumbang mahram' (good god.)

For you tweenies out there who don't understand what the word means, let me enlighten you. Sumbang mahram is incest. Now, if you feel like keeping your youthful sensibilities intact, kindly do not search for the meaning of incest.

If you feel like you can't get rid of your ignorance soon enough, then be my guest. But don't say I didn't warn you.

And so, there we were, me, Laine and Cat, doing Gates duty. Apparently, we had to leave Marc's probate and Laine's probate at the gate because suddenly Pn. Normah wanted to see the form fives. Something about extra classes. But that's irrelevant, no?

Thusly, we went back to our gates duty, since the talk was short, brief, sweet, and we had approximately 10 minutes of gates duty left.

The division of strata was clear as we stood around chatting. The two probates were chatting with each other, whilst the prefects were having their own more mature (ahem) discourse a few metres away. Yes, notice the distance? Note again, a few metres.

Then, I heard the one male probate, A, talking to the other female probate A2 (since their names both start with A, after all). Their loud voices carried over to where us prefects stood, so I stared at them and shook my head wryly. "Look, now they're flirting."

Which was slightly untrue, since they were just talking after all.

And Laine dared to scold me for that. Alas, karma's one funny retard.

As our duty was about to end, we moved to the gazebo (please do not pronounce it as ga-zay-bo). Since prefects with gates duty were supposed to clean the Prefect Room (PR) on Tuesdays and Thursdays, us prefects decided to dump entrust the duty to the probates. They need the training, after all. So, we got the key from Xin Yi, and gave the key to A, and A2.

We gave them strict instructions ("no hanky-panky, now.") and walked back to the Skylite.

And out of nowhere:

Laine: Hopefully they won't be caught for sumbang mahram.

Cue: double-take. Did Laine just say that?

Me: Oii!

Laine: *LAUGHS* What I meant was hopefully they don't get caught berdua-duaan.

Me: Geeez!

Laine: Last time, Yee Jin and Thiban and B, and C, (who are girls) were cleaning up some room or other. Then, out of nowhere, Pn Zanariah came and said, "Eh, apa kamu buat ni, berempat-empatan?

Me & Cat: Hahaha.

Cat: Berenam-enaman.

Me: Or worse, berpuluh-puluhan.

Laine: La, that's something else!

Me: An orgy?

Laine: A class!

We are incorrigible. Please don't remind us.

Let's keep these memories.
They tend to grow old, but never out of fashion.


June 14, 2009

No surprise, isn't it?

As dictated by Faranza Syns

I prefer to think that when the sparks flicker out, you're left with a glow that suffuses your whole body, leaving you with a comfortable warmth. I believe it's the rightful way of things, to be left with something fond to think about after the relationship starts losing its adrenaline pump.

What I don't expect is for things to die out quick and fast-- just as quickly as one slams a door against an unwanted intruder.

The excitement just fades. And suddenly, you just don't want to talk to that person anymore. There's nothing left to talk about. Nothing left to joke about, except the occasional, little things that amuse you.

Once cold, clammy fingers now cannot wait to end a conversation. The moments of awkward silence grows longer.

As you part, the relief you feel brings you shame. Yet you couldn't care.

"I still love you, you know."

"No, don't worry. We'll be fine."

Promises, promises.

Excuses coming easy and curt. Soon you can't bear it anymore; there are no more excuses left to be offered.

And as quickly as you met, joked, laughed, loved, understood; your ties were as quickly severed.
Because really, you feel nothing more. Because really, you're selfish, but you couldn't care less.

And you wake up the next day, and life is just the way it is.

Because no matter what your promises are, we know they're unfounded.

And really, does this come as any surprise to you?

I know in time,
you'll finally catch on.


June 12, 2009

Plasters n' Toes

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Went out to Pavilion today. But since it's already beyond midnight, I'll just say, oh, we went there yesterday.

It was fun, I suppose. In a way. Our usual entourage lacked Atiqah, but I guess I got on quite fine.

The highlight of the day: I did not get lost.

Yes, it's somewhat of a proud achievement of mine. Granted, it's only from TS. But for someone who's been sheltered all her life, telling Amanda to get on her own train and let me handle getting back home myself was... really, something I would do. Okay, I know I do go through a great deal of hemming and hawing over how to get home. I usually revert to my doubting self whenever I have to think something to death. But if I just wing it, the feeling usually lessens.

And so, despite Amanda's shock, I ordered her to get her Titiwangsa ticket, and I got my Pandan Jaya ticket. And voila, I arrived safe and sound.

No, Amanda, I was not kidnapped. There was no guy named Clay and there was no brothel.

Although, I wish there was a guy named Clay. Oh, hotness. But nevermind that.

Today's outing was... fun. Great. Super. Not entirely orgasmic, no, but yes, it is somewhere close.

Baskin Robbins. Nyumm.

Oh, and did I mention GSC's hotdog is superb?


Saw Nik again today. But as reunions go, we never got to talk much. She and the others went into RedBox whilst me and my gang went to watch a movie.

Amanda spotted them first. Really, I only expected the girls to be there. But EVERYONE was there. Even hottie Jia was there. Geeez, a shock to the system, must say. So instead of approaching directly, I fought a wave of giggles and called Afzan.




"Haha, hello."

"Where are you?"

"....Somewhere close (teehee.)"

And Afzan looked around looking for me. And she found me.

Imagine: one person running towards the other, ending with a tight embrace.

It's the stuff of movies and soap dramas, but pretty much, we dunk the cheesy stuff and mostly focus on being touchy-feely.

Everyone was shocked to see me. Daniel thought I was going out with a boyfriend. "What? Another guy? Who's the guy?" he asked, looking around outrageously, when I barely said a thing. Flattering, really, that he thought that I have a boyfriend, but no, I don't, Daniel.

Did I mention Haseef is adorable? And Jia as well? He came over and said 'hi'. Awh, Jia. How sweet of you. But of course. How lucky of -enter girl's name-. *Wink wink*

The day went well. As I've been repeating a gazillion times. One dude stared at my chest though. A worker at Baskin Robbins stared at me, too. I stared coolly back, sipping my drink. She gave up and looked away. I win. Hah.

But my littlest toes were hurt though. Had to put plasters on them. Hopefully I didn't walk like I was retarded.

My MP3's not working anymore. I don't know whether I should cry or throw things. So far I haven't done a single thing. It's the shock. I wonder what'll happen when it finally wears off.

I'll most probably live with it.

I wonder if I have Napoleon complex. I haven't actually overcompensated on something. And really, I haven't actually beat Yee Ming to a pulp just because he's the tallest around.

But I'm short.


No, I don't have Napoleon complex. But I wish I had it, though. It would make it oh-so-much-more-interesting.

When you catch me, you keep me, brute,
You don't just throw me away.


June 10, 2009


As dictated by Faranza Syns

I have white hair.


Who knew a visit to the hair-dresser's could turn oh-so-disastrous?

I seek attention; I know.
I am weak; I know that too.
I need constant assurance; yes,
Looks like I'm still not fully grown. Ha.


June 9, 2009


As dictated by Faranza Syns

I believe I'm starting to get as sex-confused as Hariz.

Sunrise Fire Rescue
Dirty Blond
Blue Eyes
150 lbs.

Photography by Apollo GT

Geez, he looks pretty.

But on the other hand... he also looks... hot.

Oh his eyes, his eyes.

... Come to think of it... why do I suddenly feel like a fit the bill for the unanimously-agreed-upon title of perv that had been given by my friends?

Suppose it's because I suddenly get turned on by the sight of superbly built firefighters? (And abs?)

Or because I'm suddenly itching to buy one calendar? It is for charity after all. Ahem.

Oh, oh, and the Mr. 2009 's name is Carlos.

Oh, delish.


My cousins just got back from a trip to Australia. Needless to say, they were happy, and I am jealous. (Geelong and Canberra, I wanna see you.)

But the stories they brought back were so hilarious (and okay, the souvies were nice, too).

Like a car with "JAKASS" on it's plate,

Or a pretty spectacular picture that my cousin had taken. It was an ordinary picture of a university that caught her fancy. And so, there she was, admiring the picture she took. Until, upon zooming, she caught sight of the most laughable sight, right there, smack dab in the middle of the picture. A guy and a woman were necking right there in the middle of the picture. What else could I have done then? I laughed my arse off.

... I wonder if I'd actually be doing that one day. Necking in front of a university, that is. Not laughing.

I doubt it. If it were in Malaysia that is. Ahem.

Moving on.

So yeah, it was pretty cool. They got to see some snow. And play with the snow. And see snow fall.

Ah heck. I'll get my chance later I suppose.

"Ah, they'll get their chance to stay longer later on. Study hard, work smart, and get a good job; that should do it."

Oh, the long, arduous journey...


I wonder if I should put an "Adult Content" warning for my blog.

Maybe when I'm 18. That should make it officially okay to announce that my blog is equipped with offensive content.


The weather's been an angry bitch lately.

Ever tried sweating just by moving your arm into a different position? You can really achieve this in Malaysia. The fact that I had been working out didn't help the matter, too. I was drenched. And each time I swiped sweat away, a new layer of sweat pops up from nowhere.

So there I was, in the kitchen with my cousin, both of us grouching over the hot weather. It was pretty much worse for her since she's been in Australia for 10 days and the weather there is... cold doesn't really begin to describe it, I believe. So she pretty much got a weather-shock.

Then, we lapsed into comfortable silence as I made some tea while she did something under the table. Stroking Flake, I believe. Flake, her cat. Please don't get any ideas.

Then, I felt a drop of sweat trickle down my back.

"Geez, I'm dripping wet."

After it escaped my lips, my eyes widened at the... ahem... commonly used line. (Only to be understood by the countless people who have the read the type of books I read.) I looked over at my cousin, and breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn't heard. Because really, she's a sharp girl, and she's been spending too much time around my personal library lately. Before I could be caught saying that though, I bolted with my cup of tea.

Will my mouth never cease its outrageous talk?

Is admitting that I want you -- bad -- a sin?


Go to Hell

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Because, screw you, we're not your toys. =)

-to Tom, of IMVU.

Because you're such a sissy.

-to Tom, of the fake identity.

Because dammit, you're a snob.

-to Tom, of the four legs variety.

Because, geez, the world's already full of people like you.

- to every Tom, Dick and Harry.


Because sometimes, it's the smallest things that make you so bloody different.

Oh wait. Many thanks to my dear, Hariz. Your support is invaluable. Wargh, you're the greatest buddy I could ask for.

And E Von, this has nothing to do with being an attention seeker. Just saying, that's all ;)

If you could read my mind,
You wouldn't like what you'd have to decipher.


June 8, 2009


As dictated by Faranza Syns

One day, if I could splurge on something, it would be a firefighters calendar.

Whoosh. Who said these dudes aren't hot? And oh, Mr. 2009, you are smooookin'.

Lemme just go ga-ga over him for a while. Then, I'm so taking a look at the others.

Oh dear, sugar rush, sugar rush.

Super hot abs.


That little flame,
I'll snuff it out, soon enough.


June 7, 2009

Doubting Thomases

As dictated by Faranza Syns

I feel like hurling the contents of my stomach.

How I wish it were because I was preggers.

Okay, just kidding. No, I don't want to get preggers. It's bad enough that people... Nevermind.

But all in all, I hate feeling like this.


I just died and went to heaven. Well, a heaven where I still drool from my nose, and cough like an old hag, but really, this is as close to heaven as a corrupted person like me could get.

Currently, I am waiting for the complete installation of Magix Music Maker 15 Premium. Excited. Ecsatic. Orgasmic.

Hah, and to think that I would have to buy the thing. Oh my gee, I'm starting to feel like Kino, where he left the best oyster for last. Do you suppose I'd be jinxed, and the installation would suddenly decide that it doesn't like me one bit and start going kaput just to drive me crazy? A far-fetched notion, but none I'm about to overlook.

I will now shut up until the installation is complete.


Oh wait, it moved. ...Gawd, that was horrible. I imagine it would be as bad as when a husband has to watch his wife give birth. The natural way. Not that C-section is not equally awful (with lots more gore, I'd say).

Okay, I will now beat any desire to crack anymore smart-ass quips about pregnancy into a pulp.

And what happened to my promise to shut up, you ask? You know better than that.

Heck, I hope I don't suddenly contract fever. That would be just horrid. And come to think of it, I haven't even started on my AddMaths project. Knowing me, I'd probably start around... say... Sunday?

The next one, I mean. I am incorrigible, yes. I don't think anyone can change me unless I really want to. I believe my parents have learned that the hard way. Sometimes I feel awful for putting them through hell. But then they put me through hell too, so that guilt usually dissipates real quick.



... I suppose I'll wait a while longer.


I just opened a newspaper, and read that a local artist got married to a guy who converted to become a muslim.

I quote: "-enter guy's name - berharap -enter female artist's name- akan mampu mendidiknyauntuk menjadi orang yang lebih beriman."

Translation: "-enter guy's name- hopes that -enter female artist's name- would be the guiding light in his life and strenghten his resolve of becoming a better muslim."

Now, that's all rather touching and dandy, but I couldn't help but laugh.


Because the said female artist who was supposed to be the guiding light (okay, so I was paraphrasing, but you get the gist) was wearing a gown that was oh, so revealing. Low-cut, front and back, string strap, sleeveless and very, very form-fitting. And lookie, no head covering.

Forgive me for doubting her abilities at reforming her husband just yet.

This is a sensitive issue for some people, I realise, so if you can't swallow this, and try to think of my point of view, kindly hike your arses presence from my blog. I don't want any hurt feelings; you can comment, and argue, but no bloody flaming, please.

First off, I realise I'm not much of an exemplary character myself. What with cracking sex jokes 24-7 and stuff. And I am quite a believer of 'heck-you're-not-so-good-yourself-so- just-shush'. Really, I am. But when they made that statement, that the guy would be depending on the female to guide him, I was pretty much baffled, bewildered, and tickled silly.

It's sorta like that proverb we like using, "bagai ketam mengajar anaknya berjalan."

I am not saying that the girl does not have good faith in Islam. Heck, she might even be better than me. I am not saying-- just because I wear a scarf -- that I am better than her. No. But I cannot help the doubt that I have for her ability to guide. Do you get my point?

I cannot argue if she prays more than me. I cannot argue if she's memorised the whole Quran. But if she really does that, she sorta has to be pretty devout, no?

So what's stopping her from showing it in a physical way? Start by ... say... wearing clothes that cover her?

I am not harping on about the lack of a head covering. I am just saying that the statement was a silly one, considering how she was dressed.

Totally, I am not against wedding a guy who's a convert. Heck, I'd even be happy to marry him. Because converts usually appreciate their religion more. Especially if their move to change their religion is because of a feeling deep inside their soul that says 'this.. this is right.' They cherish what they've found. Heck, sometimes, they understand their religion more than us born-Muslims do. They found it all by themselves, and the feeling is sweeter compared to those who were born into Islam. We take it for granted.

So yes, I would wed a convert. But only if he converted because he loves Islam. Me? I'm just the second part of the picture. I come after.

Because I'm not sure I'll ever be good enough to guide someone in that respect.

I hope -insert guy's name- would be a great Muslim. Because, looking at the circumstances, I have my doubts.

But I suppose I should give them the benefit of the doubt. I've no right to judge them. Why bother with everyone else's business when my own are not so well looked after?

Just pointing out my thoughts, dearest.

And the irony of the world.

I suppose I'm starting to love myself again.
Don't ruin this for me.


June 5, 2009


As dictated by Faranza Syns

I'm out of juice.

I have not written in the Malay language for... oh... six months? The occasional essay does not count because really, it doesn't require much effort. And disregard the fact that I never hand in any work unless threatened. And even then, I would still laze around until the last possible second.

But that's the besides the point. The point is, I'm a little rusty in Malay. Surprising, I know, to hear this from the Head of the Malay Language Department, but I only oversee things. I don't entirely get involved.

Until this fateful, horrible holiday. When none of my department members can be contacted (they seem to have developed a sixth sense where I'm concerned. "NO, MOM! SAY I'M NOT AT HOME!". You know who you are.)

Alright, I might be exaggerating it a little. And so, here I am, suffering through the challenge of being artistic while blotting my nose every nano-second, until I gave up and just shoved that small piece of tissue up my nose. Less inflammation due to friction that way.

And now, after 6 months of not ever being artistic in words, I'm finally out of juice.

But come to think of it... it feels good, being back in the writing scene. Of course, I'm a bit dry now. I seem to be repeating words, too. But the feeling that I get... it's ... wonderful?

Despite the cold I'm having.

I believe I'll write another short story for my blog. Let's see how it'll go against Kiss Kiss Muahx! and Vandalism -- A Crime?.

Say, how about Miracle?

But nevermind. The next one would be entitled Space.

And no, boys, please don't get excited. It's not a sci-fi. Sadly.

And look. It's midnight. My deadline's up, people. Ha, even HODs have deadlines.

What would the world be without deadlines?

Full of slackers like me, I say.

I <3>



As dictated by Faranza Syns

If anyone loves Ong Cheng Ken,

And wants to see him alive,

And survive the laceration I am about to bestow on him,

You had better tell him to call me back.




As dictated by Faranza Syns

If there ever was one thing that I would really truthfully die for, it would be this:

I will die a happy girl if any of you could ahem... you know...

OMG, someone STILL hasn't given me my birthday present!

Haha, but really, all I want is info on the software. I'm thinking of purchasing, if the torrent I'm downloading turns out to be fake.

It's $99.90. I'd become a pauper if I had to purchase it at that rate.

We'll see how it goes.

You leave me breathless.
Thank god.



As dictated by Faranza Syns

I wonder when I began loving Gaelic. Or maybe Gaeilge (Irish Gaelic). I love Gàidhlig, too (Scottish Gaelic).

I suppose it was when I read of Brodick Buchanan the Ransom by Julie Garwood. The book was... not really my first sign of a nose-dive towards the caverns of lax morality. I think it was For The Roses that started it, but let's not point fingers. I turned out fine, didn't I? Let's just nod and leave it at that.

But yes, I believe it began with me falling for ye olde' brute Brodick. And then, I suppose I did have a twinge of a crush for Ramsey. And then Iain. And then Connor, and then... umm... to list them all out, I need a whole list of Julie's books.

Now, this foolish bout of endless crush(ing) only served to make me really yearn for a Scottish lover correspondent. I fell for its Irish counterpart however, by listening to the The Corrs. Yada-yada, I know, you're sick of listening to me harp on about the Corrs. But they are bloody awesome. I used to get really affronted when people go ga-ga over their latest single when really, they don't even know what the band's name was. Really annoying. But moving on, the unique sound of the group had me falling for them. And I blame this on my father. Who bought every single album of theirs. Including DVDs on their concert at Royal Albert Hall and
an Acoustic. (And let's also blame the fact that Caroline Georgina Corr was born on same date as I. I fell for her before I found out, so it practically felt like kismet.)

And so, I fell in love with both Scots (and their supposed brutish and ale-loving ways) and Irish (with their love-lorn songs.)

But when did I finally fall in love with Gaelic? Could it be the countless mention of the characters in Julie's books speaking with a brogue that was oh-so-sexy? Or was it just the idea of speaking a language people very, very rarely speak these days?

Latter, latter! I vote for the latter!

Yet, after listening to Andrea Corr singing Brid Og Ni Mhaille, I think that was like a kick to the groin (less painful for a girl, but a kick in the groin, nonetheless). I fell irrevocably in love. I admit one of the reasons that I want to learn Gaelic is because it sounds somewhat melodic. For me.

But also, I want to learn it because no one else will understand.


Is tuirseach 's brónach
A chaithimse an Domhnach
Mo hata l' mo dhorn
'S mé ag osnaíl go trom
'S mé ag amharc ar na bóithre
'Mbíonn mo ghrá-sa ag gabhail ann
'S í ag fear eile pósta
Is fan í bheith liom
'S í ag fear eile pósta
Is fan í bheith liom

And left me forlorn.

Geez, if I were lesbian, I'd get a better feel of that.

And on a sidenote... I think I have to stop kissing everyone everytime they go offline.

Ah well, my idio.

My head bowed in sorrow
My sight heavy with woe.



As dictated by Faranza Syns

I have a runny nose.

But I smiled through it.

There must be something wrong with my efferent neurones.

Or maybe it's my brain.


5 People I miss:

1. Cheong E Von (because she feels unloved by me)

2. Lim Zi Kang (because I need to flirt desperately)

3. Afzan (because she's the bestest damn thing in my life)

4. Chi (because she's just been upgraded to 4th wife)

5. Him, just because.

And honey, you're right. No matter how lousy it is, I have to look at the bright side, eh? I'll just try to swallow what I did.

I wanna talk to you, but I can't. I think that's the worst of it.

I've moved on to the next step.

And I'll keep moving.

You've a vacant mind,
I've a vacant bed,
We suit really well.


June 3, 2009

A Huge Dosage, Nurse, if You Please.

As dictated by Faranza Syns

dharrnesha. says:
i hate holidays

Faranza Syns says:
lol. u took the words right outta my mouth

dharrnesha. says:
nice lips...yummm

Faranza Syns says:
you're welcome to it anytime you like

A great dose of boredom, anyone?

Anyways, I'm off to my parents' room. These thighs need lotsa work.

And we're here on the dancefloor havin' fun,
And we ain't stoppin', we'll keep droppin' till we see the sun.


June 2, 2009

Ignore this post if you don't love me.

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Suppose it'll be easier if it were a clean break?

It's a good enough theory for bones.

I want to pout and say that it's not fair, but I really don't want anyone to crack the age-old adage (the one along the lines of "if your friends had to run around naked, would you want to do it too?"). I might just bin-smack someone over that.

My shoulder-blade is hurting again. I'm starting to think that it's psychological.

I need a break.

Vince, help. Chi, help.

I need either one of you.

Or maybe I just need a hug. Chi, abandon Milan and Cork. I need you here.

Too bad you've summer school, Vince. It's not fair. I need a cuddly teddy.

A big one.

Oh my, making fun of you somehow made me smile.

I wanna go see Texas.

If I could be robotic,

Things would be really dreary.



As dictated by Faranza Syns

My domain is the kitchen, eventhough I never rarely cook.

Jaz's domain is our bedroom. Although she spends the least amount of time in it.

I clean the kitchen spotless.

She's a compulsive bed-maker.

I never ever touch my bed-- unless it's a matter of earth-shattering importance.

Jaz never clears the table-- unless I threaten her to.

Our lives are basically very compartmentalised.


I forgot to mention this: Jia is super hot.

I saw him up from the 4th floor. It was just too tempting. I had to look out the window.

There Jia was, strutting his stuff in his usual blazer and prefect U, walking with arrogance and (god help me) grace. Mind, this is during the fashion show.

Did the temperature suddenly peak or what?

And although some of his moves would've looked suitably cheesy on someone else, he made it look uber hot.

Go Jia!

And so, I went back down to the Skylite, i stood near the gates. And Jia appeared. I stared at him. He stared artlessly back at me. I smiled. He smiled. And I rolled all over the floor laughing, because the idea of Jia being hot is just too shocking for my system to absorb. Let us disregard the fact that I've known since forever that he has a sexy derriere.


Jia: Hahaha. (for some reason)

Me: OMG, Jia, that was hot. (I have a very straight-to-the-point mouth, lately)

Jia: Haha. Well, I beat Daniel flat.

True, true. Daniel couldn't beat him even if he shaved his legs clean. Daniel, that is, not Jia.

Jia: He said he'll only change his shirt, to give me at least a chance to win.

Me: Ah... hahaha.

Jia: But look who beat who.

Gahaa. You go, Jia. I'll always support you. *wink wink*

We are happy family.
At least we pretend to be, eh, sweetums?


June 1, 2009


As dictated by Faranza Syns

All I have to do is bear this kind of talk until after SPM, and then maybe I'll move away to Australia and start anew.

It's pretty sickening listening to people saying how they think you and a certain someone are similar.

Very sickening.

Who knew you're so not special?

Silly you,
Stay away, I don't want to talk.



As dictated by Faranza Syns

If Dakota Fanning stars in New Moon, then I will watch Twilight, and read the whole bloody god-damned series.

A shallow reason, I know, but I love Dakota. So kill me.

But if Vanessa Hudgen spoils the bloody thing, (that is IF she gets a role) then... well... it depends really. The verdict's still under consideration.

OMG, I miss reading that section in the Star where they present a case, and they state the verdict towards the end. It was uber awesome.

Eugh, why am I rambling?


The Dark is On.

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Apparently, I make a certain 6'2'' guy feel puny. Eh, eh, Vince?

We were discussing relationships. And Vince, being the dear that he was, gave me some advice. Ahem.

V: also, be sure he is not a butt to anybody, you do want him to be nice to you and everyone or else you can end up having noone on your side

Me: ... Okay. Why? Did that happen to you?

V: No, not really. It's not a personal experience. I'm just saying what I've learned from the movies. And from rantings of friends.

Me: Ahh...

V: ... yeah..... man, I feel awkward.

Me: Hahaha. I thrive on awkward moments.

V: Talking to you about relationships when I've only had one in my entire life and have never had tht kind of bad experiences. lol.

Me: HAHA. Well, I have friends who are in relationships too. I guess since not all of theirs is really great, only a small few, I'm a bit cynical about it. And well, my imagination fills up the gaps quite nicely.

V: you give me the chills, you know that, right?

Me: I'm honoured. Awh, but why? Am I that freaky?

V: Well, you're not freaky. You just give me the chills because sometimes I feel puny compared to you. Even if I am 6' 2''.

Me: ...ahem. I'm like 5' 1'', I'm super shorter than you. Haha. But I'm glad I make you feel puny.

V: Whoa, like i said, you give me the chills. also, I kinda have a tendency of being around people shorter than me. I feel like I can protect you guys ;p

Me: ... ha. Very funny, Vince.

He's a dear. Who knew I could connect to a person who knows Latin?

Oh, oh, I need to ask him to teach me Spanish, too, one day.

Does anyone notice that I am showing off? Haha.


V: I don't know whether to say good morning, or good evening to you, since it's evening here, but morning there.

Me: haha. Umm... let's settle for good er... day?

V: I'll settle for hello. Let's start over: Hello.


He understands me. How sweet.

Oh, and Delci, hold on there! Three days more and summer hols is gonna start! ;)

And of course I want to go to Utah! xD As soon as I've saved up the money, I'll go! Haha

He's spoiled me. Meanie.
Now I can't devour anything else.