October 30, 2008

Look Me in The Eyes.

As dictated by Faranza Syns

And tell me again that I suck in writing.


Might've lost my confidence
But I'm gaining it fast.


October 29, 2008

A Hole in My Dancing Shoes

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Just kidding. I don't really have dancing shoes.

And the only shoes I dance in are high-heels.

Yes, hard to imagine. So just save yourself the grey hair, and don't.


Basically I skipped classes the whole day today. Somehow I feel a twisted sense of pleasure. Maybe it's because I skipped Agama. =_=''... I didn't read up on Ibadah, so I was doomed from the start.

I stayed in the IT room. Oh, by the way, you know those situations where you have to keep things quiet?

This is one of them.

Please don't go out yakking that Farhana skipped classes. Like how you guys did when I posted about Marc. Gosh, the guy doesn't need anymore ego-inflation than what he receives daily.

But anyway, I skipped class the whole day, stayed in the IT room. Finally finished up a post for my blog, the "Godfatherism" post, and basically disturbed Julian.

I think he feels like killing me now.

Well, Ju, too bad. Killing me will have to wait, or Laine's gonna kill you for killing one of her solos.


We finally went through with the Choral Speaking rehearsals today.

If Julian feels like killing me, I feel like killing Jonathan.

Do you know how many times we had to repeat a stanza just because he blanked out on a few parts? Do you know how he stands during Choral Speaking?

Like "Sotong".

I know they're called squids, but I feel "sotong" sounds more insulting.

Okay, I have to stop dissing Jon. I guess he just lacks practice.


That prick.

Okay, I'm done.

Now, I feel all better.

In between rehearsals, I went back up to the IT Room. Had to find a better poem for Thambi and Ken to present this Friday.

Thambi is monotonous. He sounds as if he wants someone to die.

Cheng Ken just needs to slow down in his pronunciations.

Okay, clearly we can see that I am biased when it comes to Ken.

But I can't help it. He plays the Erh-hu.

On the day I first saw him play, I was in awe.

Me: Cheng Ken, Cheng Ken; the thing you played just now, that was the erh-hu, right?
Ken: No la, that's the piano.

Oh so funny, Ken.

So, I found the perfect poem, and me, Dharr and Afzan coached him on how to present it on Friday.

Teacher walks,
Teacher goes,
Teacher smiles,
Teacher knows.

It was funny though.

Since we were all surrounded by computers, we went to YouTube, and searched songs by Abba. Then, we searched song on Grease.

And somehow, we ended up dancing to "Staying Alive" by Bee Gees.

It was so awfully embarrassing; I don't ever want to see the video Shane took of us ever again.

That wasn't the end of it though.

After that, we were dancing to Summer Nights from Grease.

Alright, use your imagination: Three hyper-active girls dancing lustfully (okay, scratch that. Make that passionately. Okay, that still sounds wrong. You know what? Let's just say we danced, shall we?) ala Pussycat Dolls in front of the computer.

No, we didn't have the WebCam on. Haha. Okay, we can see who's getting high.

But all in all, we worked off a lot of steam today. We danced, we laughed, and we 'looked out the window'.

I think only Nurul was sensible enough to not dance in front of the camera-wielding Shane.

Shane, if you post that in YouTube, you're gonna get the hardest whopping of the century.

Okay, I have a feeling I have to private my blog now.

I've been dissing about Jon where he can see what I post.

Not to mention he was one of the people who read my "Playboy" post.

Ah shite.


Gotta finish my bio stuff. Crappy hell.

I know you'll ask me to hold on,
Carry on like nothing's wrong,
There is no more time for lies,
Cuz I see sunset in your eyes.
-I Hate This Part, Pussycat Dolls.


October 28, 2008


As dictated by Faranza Syns

I didn't know such a term existed.

Until it came out of my brother's mouth. And believe me, his understanding of godfatherism isn't the "Oh-it's-a-boy-so-let's-name-so-and-so-as-the-godfather!" kind of understanding. It's the "Oh-I'm-the-head-of-the-Mafia-and-you're-my-pet-dog" kind of understanding.

Yes, my brother fancies himself a lot of things.

He used the term when we were at an open-house for my aunt's Kumon Centre. My 10 year-old cousin, a boy, was sitting with my 18 year-old brother.

Bro: *pats cousin's head* I am your godfather.
Cousin: *beams*

I don't think he understood full well the implication of my brother's "God-fatherism".

Haziem, the 10 year-old cousin, was eating with us at our "adult" table, so-named because the "grown-ups" (namely me; my bro; my 13 year-old sis, Jaz; and my 12 year-old female cousin, Qiha) were sitting there.

Me: Eh, Haziem, why do you eat so messily? *Looks over at bro* Oi, tell your godson to eat properly!

Bro: *Gives his "godson" the look* *Looks over at Qiha* Eh, why do you eat so messily?

Qiha: *Shock* What? Not me la!

Haziem: . . .

Me: My... he's conveniently quiet.

Bro: Oi, Qiha, hurry, lick it all up!

All: WTH.

Lol. My brother can surely make me laugh. BluekS.

As the day wore on, he kept up his godfather act.

Bro: Eh, don't make me click my fingers.

Me: Why?

Bro: If I click my fingers *tsk* .. bad news. My "orang bawahan" all understand "The Click"

Me: ... Interesting

Bro: *Clicks fingers*

Qiha: Ahha! Nothing happened at all.

Bro: Ah, that's because I don't have the "niat". If I have the "niat" then...

Me: Hardy har har.

There was one part Qiha annoyed him.

Bro: *Looks pissyly (no such word, but bare with me) at Qiha*

Qiha: *epitome of obliviousness*

Bro: *rubs chest, pretending to calm himself down*

Then, he clicked his fingers. He pretended to shoot someone down. Then, he mimed a phone with his fingers and put it close to his ear. "Yeah, Boss? Yeah, it's all settled," he mimicked a "lackey".

Lol. We laughed.

Bro: Hahah, God father right? Cannot touch children. So "lepaskan geram" by killing other people.

lol. XD *sweat* laaaaaa.

Yes, that's my brother.

Proud of him.

Love him.

Despise him.

But then again, that's the dynamics of a loving family.

Shall I wait for you to see?
It's like waiting for the deaf to speak.


October 26, 2008

Faranza Sins

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Faranza Syns
IMVU Version?

Yes, I did it myself. Super proud of myself! The person who never knew how to use Photoshop used ArcSoft PhotoStudio and got this.

Yes, I'm crying with joy.

Just a little bit of faith,
And you'll see what you're worth.


October 25, 2008

I Just Wanna Have Fun

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Yesterday was...



Let's settle for entertaining.


Yesterday was the EdBoard interview.

Let's hear the rave reviews on how my interview for the BM Dept was, shall we?

"Wah, Farhana's interview was so tough la!" - Billy TanKY.

"OMG, this is tough la." - Julia.

"Shouldn't you lower your standards, Farhana?" -Ka Mun

No. I want the best, Ka Mun. ;p

Cheng Ken came to play around. He came to my table and said "I wanna try your interview."

Me: Okay.
Ken: *Sits down*
Me: Okay, perkenalkan diri anda.
Ken: Saya Ong Cheng Ken dari kelas 3 Amanah
Me: . . . *waiting for more. stares*
Me: *Gives the OoooKay look*. Bagaimakah prestasi anda dalam subjek BM?
Ken: Just give me the hardest question la.
Me: Sweat la, Ken. =_=''

So, I took out a slip of paper and slid it across the table towards Ken.

Me: Baiklah, baca situasi yang diberikan.
Ken: *reads*
Me: Berikan saya satu tajuk atau ayat yang memberikan impak buat situasi yang diberikan.
Ken: . . . Wah, this is tough lah.
Me: . . .
Ken: . . . Wait, wait, I'm thinking.
Me: *smug* Don't worry, take your time. *laughs inwardly*

He took more than 10 minutes. I think he was thinking of it for a long, long time. Even after the mock-up interview was done.

Lol, Ken. I guess that shows that you can never think like me. Nyeekkkk =p

Throughout the interviews, I maintained the I'm-very-polite-cum-You're-not-that-special look. Yes, it's cruel. But I was trying to dig deep for the values I want in a potential BM Dept member. For those who I drilled on the spot with spontaneous questions, know this: I was drilling--digging--because I know there's something inside to be found.

And since you were too nervous at the time to dig it out of yourself, forgive me for doing the digging, albeit a bit too roughly. It didn't actually leave you guys crippled, did it? =P Don't worry. It's worth it, I promise you.

=_=''... Seriously, when I looked over at the editor's table, and saw Erin playing with the Rubik's Cube and laughing while interviewing people, I felt like I was the only one who was being a tad too tough on the people auditioning for my department. (Auditioning... I don't think that's the right word, but nevermind.)

But then, I saw Laine. My, my... I think I pale in comparison. =_=''....

Julia's interview was like: "*Smile* Oh, hello." and "*Smile* Thank you!"

=_=''... I felt like a mean monster with clumsy feet.

And Cheng Ken still couldn't figure out an answer for my question. Kudos for me! XD

I think Afzan breezed through the mock-up interview with me because it was just that: a mock-up. I was laughing the whole time. And so, I guess she wasn't as tensed.

Don't worry about the other interviews, Afzan. ^_~ You scored with mine. ;p

It's kinda sad, the turn-out this year. Like Laine said, the form 3's this year seem so dead. They don't seem to want to be involved in something as prestigious as the Editorial Board. Tsk.

By the way, Dharr, if your bones hurt, I'll make it feel all better. *wink wink* Haha. XD

Laine, although there were a lot of people you had interview, look at it this way: You're Popular! XD .

Kye Li,... Darling... sadly, there's no such thing as kurus KONTANG. hahahahahahahhahaahhaha. I can still laugh my arse off at that. XD By the way, it's Canon, Kye Li, by Johann Pachelbel. ;p Not C-A-N-N-O-N.

Now.. who else? Melly-Smelly~ I want KY but if you want him, I think we can negotiate. XD

Hmm... Aly. I love you. Especially when that one moment you said, "I like the way Farhana walks. It's kinda cool." Yes, Aly, I love you, too. Haha.

Hmm.. Amanda. No, I didn't watch the other *cough* risque *cough* CD's you gave me. :D I'm a good girl. Nyeekkkk ;p

Ajaaaaaaa.... I enjoyed our oh-dang-my-battery-is-gonna-go-out-but-I'll-still-chat-with-you-until-my-battery-goes-byebye sms-es. Lol. In the end, I was praying fervently my battery won't go out or I'll lose everything in my PDA Phone. Sucks, PDA Phone. nyekkk ;p

Hmm... basically, I had a nice time on Friday. Chan felt like she's fried to the bone.

Chan: Lying down... lying down sounds good.

Lol. We were walking back from the canteen. We were supposed to take the staircase closest to the canteen, but then she kept on walking to the Skylite. I was like o_O... but I just followed her, thinking that she wanted to go somewhere. Then, halfway...

Chan:*Stops abruptly* Where exactly are we supposed to go?

Me: o_O... 3 Amanah.

Chan: Oh shoot. My brain's fried.

Lol, don't worry, Chan. It was just for the day.

My new passion: Reuben Gingrich. ;p Despite his barefoot playing of the double bass drums, he's the best.... For now.

Quoting my writing pal: "I know what you mean, Faranza. I'm practically ADD my attention span is so short. lol."

I still love my Hanamichi. Although he did dunk a basketball on someone's head. XD

The beginning of the end will come soon enough.


October 23, 2008

Break Thy Heart

As dictated by Faranza Syns

I was heartbroken when I found out that not a single one of my work for the BM Department, all my karya, was not published in the school magazine.

Zi Kang: Did you notice that when we editted the magazine, not a single one of your short stories got published?

Me:.... Really? I didn't notice.

Zi Kang: Yeah. Not a single one. You know why? Actually, your work was brilliant. 'Madahku' was beautiful. I thought E Von was gonna publish it. But you see... when she gave the story to Pn Rozita and Pn Norsham, they said it was not straightforward. The idea is not clear, and the language...the story is hard to understand, too.

But Zi Kang... you said you wanted abstract. So I gave you abstract. Seriously, when he told me that, I didn't really feel like crying. But after a few seconds, I couldn't help myself. I took a deep breath, then nodded. I felt like blaming him, felt like screaming at the top of my lungs that he wanted me to write abstract. If I hadn't, then maybe some of my work would get in. But before I could say a word, a look came over him.

Zi Kang: I know, I'm sorry. It's my fault.

Me: . . .

Zi Kang: . . .

I guess I appreciate him admitting it was his fault. But maybe my work really is hard to comprehend. I don't blame him. I just need to brush up on my skills.

I'll just have to keep on digging deep inside for the jewel everyone's looking for.

Zi Kang: Oh, yeah, I owe you a treat, right?

Heck, that made me smile. ^_^

Amanda told me to post Madahku here. Since it won't be published anywhere else, I might as well put it to good use.


Or if you don't understand, pretend to anyway.



Melodi pilu bermain di segenap penjuru, selembut titisan air mata ibu, bercucuran membasahi bumi. Tangisan tiada kedengaran, hanya sayup-sayup jeritan hati meronta-ronta, mencari jalan keluar dari kurungan kepedihan nan terpendam.

Jeritan suara anak kecil, hati muda membisik kalimah suci… nama ibu. Jari-jemari halus menggapai udara, tercari-cari. Ke manakah perginya ibu? Tubuh lemah ketandusan kasih ibu. Ibu, aku kelaparan! Di mana kamu, ibu? Ibu, segeralah pulang!

Tidak, anakku! Ibu tidak rela! Ku lontar dirimu jauh dari sisiku, dari jiwaku, dari hatiku. Biarpun hujan turun membanjiri tanah merekah, mengusai kemarau nan panjang, luka di hati tiada pengubatnya. Biarlah darahnya mengalir, hangat dan pekat. Mungkin pada waktu itulah akan selesai kepahitan yang terbuku di hati.

Angin meraung-raung, mencari memori indah detik-detik lalu, ingin ditiup jauh kesengsaraan yang meretakkan hati. Si kecil melepaskan raungan jiwa, merintih, meminta, memohon dileraikan simpulan rindu di hati. Perlahan…perlahan…cengkaman pilu di hati melembut, lantas rebahlah dia ke alam mimpi, dibuai seribu bintang, dilindungi awan mendung malam.

Oh, si ibu! Penderitaan yang datang bertubi-tubi bak hujan batu telah meranapkan hatimu. Sunyikah hatimu kerana dicemuh, dihina, dan dibuang bagai sampah? Runtuhkah mahligai kasihmu kerana kehadiran anak kecil itu? Lahir si anak ke dunia bak nur yang indah, tapi duniamu bagai dibayangi kegelapan malam, sesalanmu mencapai langit yang ketujuh.

Oh, terimalah diriku, ibu. Tiada lagi yang ada untukku di dunia yang luas ini selain dirimu. Belailah rambutku dengan jari-jarimu yang lembut. Sentuhlah jiwaku dengan suaramu nan merdu. Hilangkanlah pedih di hatiku dengan ciumanmu yang halus bak awan. Usaikanlah keraguanku dengan senyuman manismu yang tidak ternilai. Ku tiada berbapa, hanya sebatang kara, hanya tubuhmu yang mampu menghangatkan duniaku daripada kesejukan.

Rantapan si anak tidak dihiraukan. Si ibu memekakkan telinga, dibiarkan sendirian darah dagingnya yang menangisi pemergiannya, menangisi ketiadaannya. Wahai ibu, biarpun seluruh dunia memerangimu, anakmu tetap mencintaimu. Baginya, kamulah bumi, kamulah langit, dan segala kebahagiaan yang dapat dicipta hanyalah akan tercipta bersamamu. Madahnya buat dirimu tinggi, cintanya buat dirimu tulus. Sakit yang menjerut hatinya benar. Mengapa engkau sanggup meninggalkannya? Mengapakah engkau sanggup meninggalkanku?

Sepurnama demi sepurnama, penantianku tiada terhenti. Menanti saat kau kembali, meninggalkan segala-galanya buatku. Tetapi kau tetap tiada, dan aku tetap sendirian. Masih kekal madahku buatmu, namun kepedihan hati menghancurkan segala-galanya. Kau pergi, tidak kembali, langkah tersusun, mengejar alam yang fana! Si anak di sini menangis, menanti bunga yang tidak berputik. Senja nan sayu, merangkak menutup mentari. Mendung berlabuh, bertabur dan berlalu. Siang berganti malam, namun kau tetap tiada. Di sinilah berakhirnya segala-galanya. Di sinilah noktah terakhir madahku buatmu.

Di sinilah berakhirnya rentetan soloku nan pilu.

- Farhana Azahar, 2007


Yes, it's hard to understand.

But I'll continue writing. It's in my blood. I can't just banish it from my flesh, my soul, my heart of hearts.

This isn't the end. Watch me grow. You'll be amazed.

His own words:
Zi Kang owes you a candle-light dinner.

You betcha.


October 21, 2008

Emo Undone

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Okay, I've had my emo session with myself. It involved a lot of crying, suspicions, misguided accusation, self-consuming hatred, crying, tonnes of tissues, lots of eye-rubbing, lots of falling asleep because my head ached too much, crying... and did I mention crying? Yes, well, that did happen a lot.

But I guess that is understandable. I get hurt and offended easily these days. I ponder over the smallest things, and find even the smallest reasons to run into a rampage. When people don't realise I'm hurting, I hurt more, and pull myself away. But I guess that's just me. And PMS.

Sucks, huh?

I can't really tell you guys who in particular hurt me. And why. Because I feel it's something I just need to keep to myself. It just feels that way.

But for now, I'm trying to stop being emo. Well, at least to the extent that I won't actually toss a broom down onto the floor when someone says "You're so not understanding."

p/s: Jet, Mel. I love you guys, you know? ^_^ And yes, Jet, thanks for the socks. =_=''

Because hey... I still want to enjoy life.
No matter how tough...

And I want to sleep as peacefully as he...

Let life run its course.
We'll sit back and ride it all the way.


October 20, 2008

I Hate Today

As dictated by Faranza Syns

But it doesn't mean I'll love tomorrow.

You guys hurt me, but you didn't even realise it. Thanks for being that way. It makes me realise some things.

Close yourself away from emotions.


October 19, 2008

You Won't Forget (The "Oh, I Forgot Some People" version)

As dictated by Faranza Syns

To my two most loyal CBoxers, Afzy and Laine, who never fail to comment on most of my posts (because it mostly involves them), I love you guys. Lol. You guys light up my day. And nights. *wink wink* XD

To my loyal reader, Aja. Although you're lazy to comment on my CBox, I still love you lots. I appreciate you reading ;p.

To Amanda, who reads my blog late at night, and SMS-es me when she found out I was HOD for BM, I love ya lots, u know... and what happened to Australia?!

To Yin, whom I inadverently forgot. I'm sorry dear. I love you too. Haha. (And Yin, CONTROL YOURSELF.)

To Kye Li who crows like a cock whenever I praise her: "janganlah perasan sangat." =_=''... haha. ;p... nah, you have the right to preen. ^_^

To Moky: I did realise you cut your hair... and me reading your blog about it had nothing to do with it! XD

To Elaine C. who suddenly said "hey, I read your story," one morning. I appreciate your comment on my story. You don't know how much that means to me.

To S/A, you're real quiet. What, only one stalker-ish message on my CBox, and then run and hide? Or was it because I taunted you? ;p nyekkkk.

To Alia: I didn't realise you read my blog.

To Z.L: I promise I'll write again soon. And of course, I still love you most. Haha.

To my Phantom Readers... please leave me a comment so that I'll know you're actually watching me. ;p

To anybody who happens to pass by, bear with me. I'm being super grateful of what I have today. I want to say my thanks, express my love, before my time is up. Because we don't know when it's going to end. So, enjoy things while we can.

Finally, to the people who mean something to me; you barely know what you mean to me, do you?

You'll Remember Me


I Love Z.L.

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Z.L. It's not Zi Kang, Afzan, so don't get excited.


Hey, even Ronan Keating said life is a roller-coaster, you know. But if you're on your way down, and you're scared, scream out loud. When you reach the bottom, you can always fly into my arms. I've got the sign "Reserved" placed there just for you. - Z.L. , My first, foremost and long-standing affair.

No wonder why I love you so much, silly.


October 18, 2008

Quit Playing Games

As dictated by Faranza Syns

And yes, I have survived my Ed Board duty. With blisters on my feet. I'm never wearing high-heels again. Well, on duty, that is. I was gonna wear my sneakers, but since it was somewhat a formal function, I thought it'd be better if I wore something more formal.

Silly me.

Julian was there too. Yay! Haha. I went to ParkRoyal, and waited for Laine (who was terribly late). Then, while me and this other guy were like playing with our phones (me and him both across of each other). It was the typical sign of someone looking for another person, or waiting for someone; not wanting to seem out of place, we fiddled with our phones, calling here and there. Lol. So, whilst I was waiting, I saw lots of teachers. Of course. Then, Pn. Jasbir walked down the corridor. And she saw me.

Pn. Jasbir: Eh, Farhana! Are you the photographer for today?

Me: =_=''... err... no, teacher. I'm covering the event.

Pn. Jasbir: Ah, I see. Nice top, by the way. *Touches the fabric of my top*

Me: *Beam* Thanks!

Yeah, people. She likes my top. Nyeekkk!

I know that means my taste is nearly like hers, but what the heck. Haha. Syam liked it, too.

Syam: Hey! Ooh, nice top!

Yes, people. I am still considered funky, eventhough Pn. Jasbir said my top is nice.

So, after that, I waited for Laine. Then, while I was still fiddling my phone with the other guy, I looked up, and saw someone familiar. It took me a moment to focus.



Ju: o_O... eh? What're you doing here?

Me: Ed Board.

Ju: Ohhh..

Me: You?

Ju: Tech.

Me: Oh.

Okay, don't be fooled by our one-liners. Lol, we do talk up a storm when we meet. It was just that we were still surprised to see each other.

Then, sadly, we dissed Mr. Robert, among talking about other things. Hey, he might be nice, but he left most of the work that he needed to do to his students, you know. That's BAD.

So, me and Ju stuck to each other. We were like the only Fourth Formers there. You can understand how out of place we felt. But then, we talked and talked till we felt comfortable -- which didn't take long. About half-a-minute or so. XD

We yakked and yakked. Then, we called Laine.

She said she was near Pavillion.

Ju: I wonder how near her "near" is.
Me: Heck, she's near already?
Ju: No, she's near Pavillion.
Me: o_O... is that near??
Ju: If her "near" is 1 km, we're toast, la.
Me: Yup.


The ceremony was about to start. So, me and Ju were standing near the entrance, still talking up a storm. Then, he looked over, and I looked over.

The Lady has arrived.

Laine looked more like a "Working Lady" than a photographer, as Ju puts it.

Laine: I feel weird.

Me: You look weird.


After Laine snapped a few pictures, she came back to me and Ju, and dragged both of us in front. "I feel awkward standing in front there all alone. Come with me."

After she felt "comfortable", she left me and Ju.

Me: *Looks up at Ju* .... should we be standing here, at the front?
Ju: ... I don't think so.
Me: ... should we stand at the back?
Ju: Yeah.

Lol XD.

We stood at the back, talking about Mr Robert, then Laine came back to our side.

We stared at her getup. She was wearing, in her own words, "An office shirt and a skirt".

We stared on. "You look like a grownup going to work intead of an edboard photographer."

Laine: The shirt is my mom's.
Me: Ah, now we understand why.
Laine: The skirt is my sister's.
Me: Oh, now we understand why.

All in all, the ceremony was okay. The pinnacle would be when they played James' presentation. Too bad Ju already went for Church practice (he had to perform at Church tomorrow or something). He was the director or the producer of the video. Lol. It was amazing. But I already saw it before everyone else did.

But it still gives me goosebumps.

Gongratulations to:

  • Julian Yee
  • Kessler
  • Julian Shane
  • Sze Kitt
  • Jeremy
  • Nurul Nabila
  • Khairil
  • And others. ( XD can't remember the names of the whole team)
During the first time the whole thing was finished, I went to take a look (thus, explaining why I skipped Agama ;p). Then, the Senior Assistant of Administrations, Pn Ros came in. I was like "Crap, I'm skipping class." But I suppose one of the appeals of being a "Blue Shirt" is that no one questions your movements. Lol. So, she came in. "Is this the whole team?"

I ignored the question and pretended to do something else. Then, she started counting. "Eleven people per team?"

I just shut up and let the others answer.


Then, she asked for the duration of the video.

"11 minutes," said Ju.

Yee Ming and me were standing side by side, then he turned to me. "11 minutes. 1 member do one minute. XD."

Yee Ming wasn't supposed to be involved, too, I think. Lol.

Yee Ming is super tall. Or maybe I'm super short. When I speak to him, I have to totally look up. Haha.

Once, at the canteen, I was buying food. Then, I turned and saw him. He was talking to Afzy or Nurul I think. Then, I stared at him. "No fair la... you're so tall."

He grinned that cheeky grin and then bent his knees until he's level with me.

Then he stood up again.

"Cannot la. I don't feel comfortable being so short."

Yes, Yee Ming. I know I'm short. No need to rub it in.

"When I'm tall I can see everything. But when I suddenly become short I can't see a thing."

Yes, Yee Ming. That's what us normally-short people suffer everyday.

By the way, must you be SO TALL?

Lol, not that I don't love that you're tall.

Yee Ming = Yao Ming?


Tell me straight,
Truth, I beseech you,
Tell me now,
Or I'll be gone tomorrow.


October 17, 2008

Out of My Heart, Into Your Head

As dictated by Faranza Syns

She's on Duty. Love her, will you?


I'm still missing you,
The resonance of your voice,
Echoing within these wall,
I'm still missing you,
The warmth against the chill,
Your touch, your love,

I'm still missing you,
So simple,
Still a puzzle.


I didn't mean to fall in love with you,
And baby there's a name for what you put me through,
It isn't love, it's robbery,
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me
-Ghost of You And Me, BBMak

I miss you so darned much, but don't you remember at all? You told me it's your birthday. And I remembered.

Happy Birthday, love.

You know who you are,
So bask in this day of glory.
Maybe one day, you'll realise,
Just what you mean to me.

Count-down over. Mission aborted.


October 16, 2008

Hardly The Type I Fall For

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Stalking might be fun. But it won't be so fun when I turn the table on you. S/A. I know who you are. I can see where you go, where you are, where you live, do some background checks on you. And yes, I do know you exist. So fess up now, and I'll leave you unscathed.

Scott-free. But if you still persist on acting dumb, remember this: hell hath seen no fury like a woman scorned. I'm sure you of all people should have seen this phrase somewhere.

And yeah, if you wanna tell me about you deep, inner feelings, just tell me. Despite the fierceness of those upper two paragraphs, I don't really bite. Not humans that is. I prefer fish. And white meat.

But wait... you're somewhat white meat too. Okay, forget it. I'm just too happy right now to make much sense.


*sob*... I can't believe I can call myself Head of Department for Bahasa Malaysia. *sob sob*

I'm Inaugirations' H.O.D for the Prefectorial Board, and BM H.O.D for Editorial Board. Yes, I am gloating, everyone. I rarely get the chance to, so bear with me. I'm not smart so I can't really take pride in that. At least I finally get to gloat. *Sigh* Aw, cut me some slack! Haha.


I sms-ed my former HOD. Basically, this is his response:
Note: The one's in peach are my notes.
Haha! What a good news! Congratulations. Try to imagine me saying this with a sincere face: "Farhana, after several long months of shedding blood and sweat for the seemingly unending blizzard of assignments which almost set you bottom alight for sitting in front of the screeen typing non-stop, finally, u've proven urself to be d toughest! Even though ur arse has been burnt into ashes and you are no longer 'complete'--rather deformed-- u've made it till today. something worth awarding, thus the prestigious post. You're truly amazing (Yes, I know that, Zi Kang. Of course.) I salute you. (Yes, Zi Kang, go ahead.)" Haha. Done freaking out? I didn't pick you to check the magazine with me for no reason, dear Farhana. U r competent and d best I could ever find. At last, you can wield your power and torture ur members. It's your turn. :-D


That's true, Zi Kang! OMG, thanks for reminding me. XD

Lainey, dear, congrats! Jules, my beloved affair, congrats too. Mel, congrats! Hmm... who else? Kye Li? ;p haha. I dunno if you guys know already. And I'M NOT TOO SURE if I heard the names right. lol.

Oh, by the way, Laine, you said you changed your number. But I still haven't got it. haha. I changed my number, too, you know.

I'm thinking of writing another story, but maybe not now. I have the draft already, but... well... maybe later. Hey people, I want comments. Elaine C commented on 'Kiss Kiss Muahx'. Lol, she's disappointed Dannette didn't meet someone new. XD

I love Devon, Elaine. I'm so not killing off his character. XD

He's one of the type of guys that are annoying, but unbearably endearing.

Those who haven't read my stories, if you guys want to, look for the posts "Vandalism - A Crime?" and "Kiss Kiss Muahx!"

Lol, I'm promoting my stories. XD.

If you guys are promoting it too, please state firmly that the stories are mine. Or Faranza Syns'. I already have some people (not here, but elsewhere) who used to claim they wrote the stories I wrote.

Sigh, I guess you can't help plagiarism from happening.

Including in class. Lol.

We used to be so lazy to finish our BM homework. Then, one day, Pn Noria said she wanted to collect all our books. Alright, use your imagination. Imagine how all of use panicked. And so, since there was so much to be done, we decided to just copy one another. Lol, one of us took a book from those who have finished the exercise, then she typed it out and printed for all of us.

We thought, "Great! Now we're safe!"

But when we got back our books, the was a word written at the last page of our assignments.

Direct translation: plagiarism.


We might be Alpha-ians. But we're still young, with all the bluster, passion and will-power only youth can bring. We might seem silly, but some of are wise beyond our years. We might seem crazy and seem to ruffle people's feathers the wrong way. But we're still young, and still learning. It's our prerogative to learn. And no matter how eccentric we seem, we are merely special in a quirky kind of way.

We just love life.


October 15, 2008

Because I Promised.

As dictated by Faranza Syns

We had EdBoard Farewell the other day, as most of you well know. It was fun. Lots of eating (yay!). And lots of calories (gosh, forgot to think about that.) But the thing that still has me laughing is the fact that all of us acted sooo "jakun". Photo-taking every 5 minutes? If that's not jakun, then I'd say it was an extreme bout of camwhoring. ;p nyekkk

Okay, guess who? (Kye Li doesn't know I took this pic. HAHA)

I took this pic and Kye Li went "I can take MUCH BETTER!"
... Sweat,
Kye Li, sweat =_=''.

I just realised Kye Li's actually quite pretty. =_=''... haha.

While we were waiting for the form fives, we were doing all of the above. Basically, taking picture of stupid stuff and things that aren't necessarily new to us... like our own faces? Haha. And then we saw CTC walk in. You know, Tien Chuen (is that how you spell it? Lol, he doesn't know I'm writing about him, so it wouldn't matter.) And there he was, carting his whole photography set. We didn't actually expect him to bring the WHOLE set, but good, anyways. At least we'll get good photos.

CTC setting up. The publisher (I think that's him) looked this way.
*Gape* You didn't think I was taking a picture of you, did you?

Arrgh, Nurul, you moved. And the lighting was so perfect.

I was only going to take their pic.
Isn't it just my luck my phone snapped the pic right that moment? XD

Basically, we were waiting for Pn. Sheila and the other teachers before we could get started. You know, common courtesy and stuff. They took quite a while. Ann was going "I'm hungry laaaa..." And just from that sound, I could deduce that she was pretty much starving. Of course, the next line she said did support my claim.

"I didn't eat breakfast."

Well, neither did I, Ann. Haha, so much for prepraring space for a feast.

So we sat talking. And snapping pictures. Then, we got a call. The teachers said they were going to be late since they got stuck in a traffic jam.

And they said we should start first.

Don't hold your breath.

Like a shot, we ran to the buffet section.

Holy moly!

This was the only picture I managed to take before I started salivating, so... ;p

And thus, let the feast begin!

Mel's and Kye Li's plate. Or shall I say PLATES.
Ooh, the carbonara was... just wonderful.

Enjoying themselves, of course.

And behold.... MY PLATE.

Yes, I stopped half-way to take this picture. =_=''
The sandwich was delicious. Kye Li said it's turkey meat.
p/s: I'm salivating right now.

Right after I took that picture, we had to stop eating for the moment to greet Pn. Sheila and the other teachers. One of us (I think it was Chan?) said "I don't wanna leave my food!" Ah, you don't know how much I agree with you, Channy, dear. And so we got up from our seats and exit the Melting Pot. We were gonna walk quite a ways to greet the teachers. But Erin, our dear, dear Erin, said "Eh, no need to walk so far la. The less distance we walk to greet the teachers, the less distance we need to cover to get back to our food."

Good point, Erin. Never knew you were that smart... wait... always knew you were that smart. =_='' My bad. Haha.

And so, we stopped just a few metres away from the Melting Pot, accepting Erin's words with nods of agreement. Well, from me and Chan, that is. The other four went on ahead already. We had to call them back. But then, Mel, Ann, Nurul and Kye Li spotted the sign "Shopping Gallery".

Okay, who can quess how excited they were?

Even I was surprised.

They ran up and left me, Erin and Chan down at the lobby to greet the teachers.

Lol. So we waited. When we spotted the teachers, me and Chan were like running: "Kye Li! Mel! Oi, the teachers are here! Hurry, hurry!"

And I was in high heels. =_=''.

So, we smiled, we greeted and we looked sweet. ;p

Then, we got back to our food. FINALLY. And where there's a round one, there's always a round two.

Beginning of Round Two:

I loved the "gourmet sausages" so much, I took them again.
And yes, that IS salmon. Smoked, I think. Can't be raw.

A different angle. Yes, I WAS enjoying myself.

At this point, Kye Li was going "Eh, where's the sushi eh?"

Someone answered, "I didn't see any. Empty already."

"But they'll refill, right?"

"Yeah, surely."

Then, Kye Li saw it. "Eh eh! Sushi sushi!"

She stood up and ran to take the sushi.

Mel: Take a whole plate!

And yes, Kye Li being Kye Li, took a whole plate.


This is the point where I thought... "Oh crap, what about dessert?"
Ah, heck, no more room.

We took a whole plate, and yet we didn't finish it. Brava, Kye Li. Haha

After that, we moved on to dessert. Well, Kye Li was actually slow at finishing her food (mainly because she took a lot. and also she ran to go and take the sushi) , so we waited for her. But when she finished, Nurul was away, so she and Mel went on for dessert. I waited for Nurul, and then we went to take some desserts. SOME desserts.

We went there and Nurul said "Oh, wait. I wanna eat some dimsum (i think that's what it was. Dumplings is the english word, I'd say). "

Me: I wanna make room for dessert, so let's just share.

Nurul: Ok

Then we turned to take the plates and guess what we saw.

Kye Li and Mel, with two plates stacked up with dessert.

Say it with me people: OH-EM-GEE.

For sarcastic purposes, let's do that again: OH-EM-GEE!
That was Kye Li's plate. Mel already devoured hers.

This was how far she got before she seemed to want to give up.
Lol, us greedy creatures.

And here's me and Nurul's quaint plate of dumplings. Mmm.. nyumm. XD

I think Nurul took a picture of us both "attacking" our dumplings. Lol, but it's in her camera, so that'll just have to wait.

Once we've devoured the dumplings: "OK, next: Dessert!"

Wanna know what we took?

So little, you say? Not much?
Well, I guess.
But wait, if we're not kiasu,
Then we're not Alpha-ians.

So, I present to you,
Me and Nurul's plate of desserts,
Just desserts,
That could rival Kye Li's.

Faranza Syns and Double N Productions Present:

Yeah, baby, it's beautiful!

I couldn't help myself, I took another picture. XD

I should get into photography. =p

Once again, I couldn't help myself.

Not a nice picture, but I loved the food.
So what the hell.

We had an incredible time. I'm pretty shocked it went that well. (Yes, I'm actually talking about the food.)

But all in all, it was a great 1st EdBoard Farewell Party for me. It's not so fun with my HOD not being there. Zi Kang, *sigh*, you barely had exams then. I was gonna have exams in a day's time. How come I could go, but you couldn't? Haha, I guess he was busy. Tsk tsk.

After Erin did her spontaneous welcoming speech, and Pn Ros gave hers, we handed the form fives their souvenirs.

And we took a group picture of them.

I might've arrived,
into these arms,
These spaces,
This time,
Just a little late,
But the warmth,
It stays,
It lingers,
Never to fade.
-Faranza Syns,
Soon-to-be-really-popular blogger.

I love the Editorial Board. We were bonded together to create something wonderful. Something amazing. Something that we will share for the rest of our days.

But there comes a time when we'll have to move on.

And it's time to say goodbye.

If you need to crash,
Then crash and burn;
You're not alone.
-Savage Garden-
Crash and Burn.


October 14, 2008

Kiss Kiss Muahx!

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Okay, I have officially gone insane. Refer up there. You see that blog title? That's not me. Just my alter ego straining to get out. I don't care anymore. Screw Add Maths. It felt easy, but I guess that's because I answered all of them wrongly. Ah, screw screw screw!

Bio was quite alright. Better than I expected. Well, the questions that is. I dunno about my answers. I might just get 1 mark out of the whole paper. Okay, where's that shovel? I feel like digging a grave for myself right now. It'll be easier to bury me later on when you find me dead over my Bio paper bearing my marks.

I feel like writing a story... so.. here goes.

p/s: I want comments. Or this blog goes bye-bye. I don't care if it's daylight blackmail. I want comments. Capisce?

nyekk ;p


Kiss Kiss Muahx!

"Staring is impolite, you know."

He looked up and blinked. And continued staring. My cheek twitched as the irritation finally got to me. "Dude, you wanna stop staring now? Cuz it's freaking annoying!"

I couldn't stop the widening of my eyes as he stood up slowly, still staring. He was gaping like he just saw his dead mother come to life (pardon). And then, he looked fascinated. And horrified. I gritted my teeth. Getting people who stare was common for me. Especially when it's girls. I get that thing always. I mean, it's understandable since I'm somewhat good looking in a quirky kinda way. But not when guys are staring.

And this guy was definitely staring.

"Dude, I dunno if you're queer--"

"Are you a guy or a girl?" he asked abruptly. The shock of the question made me stutter.

"You blind or something?!" I retorted, which wasn't really an answer.

"I don't know. You tell me."

"I think I'd know my own gender."

"But I don't. So, what are you?"

"You don't know your own gender?"

"Playing dumb won't get you anywhere."

This turn of conversation is starting to wear at me. "It's plain as day that I'm a guy, dumb ass."

"Ahh..." he said. And only when he moved back did I realise how close he was.

God. Oh my God...

He looked at me thoughtfully, an amused smile quirking his lips. "You know. I'm starting to wonder if I am queer. It seems I'm attracted to you."

He gave a cheeky salute, turned and sauntered out.

My eyes stayed at the doorway.

Oh shite.

This wasn't good.

Alright, why the heck did I lie?


"It's impossible."

I looked up from the table I was bent over and stared at the male who sat --quite purposefully and strategically -- behind me. If I wasn't wrong, he was staring at my derriere.

I scowled at him, but he still stared intently, chin propped up on a palm. "It's impossible for a guy to have an a--" he stopped himself and looked up into my eyes. Alright, all of us know the word he was about to use, so it's kinda pointless for him to change the word to "butt". They are relatively the same, so I gave him a droll look.

"How can a guy have an ass like that?"

I scowled. "It's god-given. Shut up and eat your meal."

He gave a long-suffering sigh and toyed with the food on his plate. Just when I was starting to feel thankful I lied that I was a guy, he had to dash that thought from my head. He badgers like a girl. And isn't he the least daunted with the fact that he might be gay?!

"Did you have a sex change?"

I tossed the dishcloth on the counter and turned to face him. "You know what? I think you're in denial."

He grinned up at me. "Denial?"

"You said you like me, but since I'm a guy, you can't accept the fact. So now, you start making up excuses like 'oh, her ass is too--"

I paused at what I said. I said her. And my voice. My voice slipped. Then, I realised. I shouldn't have paused. At all. I could have faked a cough and pretended I was losing my voice. But when I paused and pondered on my mistake and the sudden change in my voice... oh shite.

"You said her. And your voice...So are you a girl?" He looked so eager, I felt like smashing his face.

My mind worked in a flurry. "I... meant... well," I cleared my throat. " I was thinking in your view. Since you think of me as a girl, so I--"

"I'd think a guy hates to be compared to a girl. I'd have punched my lights out if I were you."

"Well, thank your lucky stars I'm a pacifist."

"Pacifist!" he guffawed."Okay then. So that may be the reason. But what about your voice?"

"What about my voice?"

"Seriously, you should stop acting like a guy. It'll do both of us good."

I nearly gaped at his words.

"I mean, it'll be easier for me to date you and stuff. I don't really go all out against homosexuality, but I'd prefer that people don't make mountains out of anthills. You know, they'll talk when they see me with a guy. Kissing and stuff. You do know we're gonna do that, don't you?"

"You know what? I'm not putting up with this."

As I turned to leave on a huff, I swear I saw a grin on his face. Darn it! I don't really pull pranks on people. But mostly, people fell for it. There are the doubtful few, but a convincing act from me usually shakes them off, and they believe I'm a guy all over again. I don't have a sexuality complex. I'm comfortable being a girl. But it is somewhat fun when you get to dupe people.

But this guy was darned hard to dupe!

"Think about it!" he yelled over the din towards me. "By the way, you have a nice ass!"

I sputtered, and let out an exasperated sound. Will the guy ever stop?

I can't do this anymore. My chest felt like it was about to burst. Why the hell was my heart beating so hard and fast? No way. I can't actually like him, can I?

Kissing and stuff? My heart hammered double-time as the thought entered my head.

Oh-ho! Danny-girl, you've gone way over you head this time!



My eyes widened as he gripped my arm and pulled me to stand directly in front of him. Did I mention he was tall? Oh yeah, real tall. And his shoulders... I stared at his serious face staring into mine. "What?" I asked, my eyes staring into his. Okay, did I ever find his eyes annoying? If I ever did, I take it back. Why would I find green eyes annoying? They were the warmest green eyes I've ever seen... and the most serious, too.

Alright, maybe I could come to like this guy. And besides, he's very persistent.

I swear, I nearly melted into a huge puddle of goo on the floor when he bent his head and stared deep into my eyes.

"I give up. Okay. I'll accept the fact that you're a guy."

I blinked. Okay. Does that mean he's giving up?

"And you're right, I am gay."

I'm not too sure what I did, but I think I dropped my jaw then.

"I guess I approached you because you seemed so much like a girl and since I knew you were a guy... well, it's to assuage my conscience, I think. And I don't like girls."

I couldn't breathe. NO WAY. This was NOT happening. Just when I'm falling for you, then you're falling for pseudo-me? NO FREAKING WAY! And you DON'T LIKE GIRLS?! What the hell is wrong with... with.. with you?!

"So, I accept it. I'm gay. As long as you're a guy, then that's all that matters."

He bent down. NO, HE IS NOT GOING TO KISS ME, I thought. And yes, the thoughts were pretty much echoing in my head in capital letters.

"Wait," I pushed at his chest. "You don't understand."

"What? Come on, I've accepted the fact that you're a guy, and I'm gay. So what else is wrong?"


"What? You're not ready to accept that you're gay too? It's okay. I'll wait. But just let me kiss you one time, then--"

"NO, YOU CAN'T KISS ME!" I was fairly shouting in hysteria. The people in the diner who were staring quite intently at the drama unfolding in front of them kept on staring, unabashed. I sputtered, then grabbed his arm and pulled him out the back door, and into the back alley. I pushed him against the wall in hopes that I could get him in control.

"Oh," he said, as if just realising something. "You should've just said you wanted privacy." He bent down again.

"DON'T KISS ME!" I slammed my hands against his chest. He choked for a second, then held my hands on his chest.

"Ow," he complained.

"Shush-- just.. just shut up for a moment. I need to think."

He thinks he's gay. And basically he's in love with me. Okay, that's pretty straightforward so far. But let's put in my part as well. I'm not a guy, I'm a girl. And he hates girls. And I like him. A lot. But he hates girls, so it's a no-no. I can keep on pretending to be a guy, but he'll find out eventually. I do lack something a guy -- all guys -- should have, you know. And I have something else in abundance that guys should have very little of.

Oh crap.

"Hey? Done thinking?"

"Shhh!" I waved impatiently at him. He shut up obediently, for once.

"Your fingers are tapping my chest."

"Oh, wow, that's very interesting. Now shush."

So what should I do now? Tell the truth, I'll lose the chance. He hates girls. Lie, I'll get some time with him, but it'll eventually end. Disasterously. And yeah, lying to him will be like cheating him the truth.

And I was sick of lying. I couldn't do it anymore.

"Listen,..." Okay, I barely know his name.

"Devon," he offered. Ah, dang. And Devon is such a beautiful name. What a waste that he's gay.

"I'm... I've lied to you."

The smile on his face slipped. That's when my heart slipped down my chest and into my tummy as well. "What do you mean?"

I took a deep breath, and braved on. "I'm... not the person you think I am. I'm not a guy. I lied. I thought it would be fun to lead you on. I didn't really think you were actually gay. I... I guess... I kinda helped you find yourself." I let out a weak laugh. I can't do this. "I hate it," I said, my voice going really low and soft. "I hate the fact that I turned you fully gay. It was a stupid thing for me to do. And I already had you in my grasp... or maybe not."

I pulled away from his tensed and rigid form, then rubbed my hands self-consciously together. "I'm a girl. My name is Dannette and I'm okay with me being female. I have four brothers who act like neanderthals, so I guess that's where you found me being so masculine." I laughed again. But bitterly this time.

"The first time you stared at me.. I thought you were insane. When you asked me if I were a girl or a guy, I just thought you were a nuisance. Then, you kept on coming back. You kept on doing the one thing people don't do-- you insisted that I was girl. And kept right on flirting with me, even with the risk of me being a guy. I felt... heck,I dunno," I mumbled. "I felt nice I guess. I should've stopped the act there. Should have said I'm a girl. Because I really liked you. Then, maybe you and I could have been together."

"But now," I swallowed. "I guess it's a bit too late, huh? If I'd stopped it earlier, you would've... you know what? Forget it. I'm a girl. Full-stop. That's all I have to say.

When I looked up, there was such confusion in his eyes, I just had to look away.

"This changes things."

I nodded at what he said.

"I guess this ends here, then."

Dreadful. Utterly dreadful. I felt tears start to clog my throat, and my nose running. Oh, darn it. This always happens. I swiped madly at my nose, then nodded.

We could have had a chance, had I stopped the pretense fast. He might actually fall in love with a girl. Fall in love with me.

But I guess this is karma. I played him for a fool, now it's my turn to suffer.

"Look, Dannette," he said. "It's not the end of the world, you know. I'm actually thankful you let me find the real me. Now I understand my feelings better."

Direct translation: Thanks for showing me that I'm a true, hardcore gay.

I let out a loud sniffle and choked violently on a sob.

"So, I guess I'll see you around."

He's leaving. I pulled in a deep, shaky breath, and nodded, looking up at him. I tensed my lips to cease the trembling. I guess it worked.

"We can still be friends, you know."

"You don't like girls."

"I didn't say I couldn't use them as a friend."

My shoulders sagged. But my mind worked. I guess I can settle for being just a best friend. It's better than nothing. I like his personality. We'll be great friends.

Love doesn't really have to come through dating, no?

But I still hate it.

But it's life. It's high time that I accept it.

I nodded. He nodded. Then, he straightened up. "I guess I'll go."

And he walked away, I waved, and he nodded back at me. The warmth of his gestures had disappeared. I guess he really doesn't think of girls in an intimate kind of way. I took a deep breath and sighed, sniffling. There'll be other guys. I'm sure. I've learned my lesson. Life can't always go your way, I suppose. And you should definitely never play with people's feelings. You'll just end up crippled in the end...

I turned, smiled to myself, resigned, then opened the door to step in. As I stared in, everything felt a little bit normal again. Just like any other ordinary workday. I took a deep breath and forced a smile on my face.

Life's moving on.

"Hold it, young lady!"

I paused.

Devon was over there, smiling at me, right where I had pushed him the moment we had stepped out of the diner.

He came back?

"What?" I asked.

He threw back his head and laughed. "Ah, God, I can't stand it anymore!"

Bewildered, I stared up at him. "Are you okay? Did the fact you're gay bring too much stress on--"

"No, silly." He paused and stared down at me. "I'm not gay. Never have been. Never will be."

"But you said..." The real meaning finally sank in. "Ugh, you rotten dog! You duped me!"

He laughed, and choked again when I slammed my hands onto his chest.

"Hey! Who duped me first?"

"Yeah, like you were ever led to believe I was a guy."

"You said you were."

"But you never believed a word."

"I'm a smart guy."

My temper is never actually a beautiful thing. Bu ast he grinned down at me, I couldn't help the sudden softening in my heart.

His fingers pushed back my boyishly layered hair from the side of my face. "I couldn't stand it, you know. I wanted to see how long you were gonna hold out."

I raised my chin. "If I had continued pretending to be a guy?"

"Honey, you haven't got the extra appendage I have. And gays aren't eunuchs, you know. They'd have sex sooner or later."

My face coloured and my breath came short at his very direct phrasing. "But still--!"

"Shush. Now, tell me more about how much you love me."

I blushed deeper and pulled away. "What do you mean? I never said."

"I do believe you said something along the lines of 'I want you and I to be together, forever.'"

"I said no such thing!"

He chuckled. "Sounded like it though."

"Ooh, you rotten... male!"

He laughed. "So," he began. "Now that we've clarified that you're a girl, I'm a guy and I'm not gay, let's start over, shall we?"

I stared up at his grinning face and sighed. "Yes, I guess it's for the best." I extended my hand. "Hi, My name is Dannette Carter. And you are?"

"Not pleased. I was thinking of another way of starting over."

"Really? How?"

It was the wrong thing to say. He swooped down. I shut my eyes tight.

But instead of landing on my lips, his kiss brushed my cheek, then my forehead.

Okay, maybe it was the right thing to say.

"Better." He said. "And my name's Devon McKnight."

The kisses turned me giddy. I felt so all soft and warm outside. And let's not talk abou tmy insides because it was ten times worse. "Ooh, very english. Very proper." I couldn't help myself. I giggled.

He grinned wolfishly. "But I'm having really improper thoughts in my head."

My eyes widened, and I shrieked, turning tail, running. Laughing. Loving. Feeling alive.

Devon McKnight. We have a long ways to go yet, but I have a good feeling about this. A very good feeling.


The Best Thing
(And no, it's not The Best Damn Thing by Avril Lavigne)
Savage Garden

Never want to fly
Never want to leave
Never want to say what you mean to me
Never want to run
Frightened to believe
You're the best thing about me

Sometimes I feel like this is only chemistry
Stuck in a maze searching for a way to
Shut down turn around feel the ground beneath me
You're so close where do you end where do I begin?
Always pushing and pulling
Sometimes sanity takes vacation time on me
I'm in a daze stumbling bewildered
North of gravity head up in the stratosphere
You and I roller coaster riding love
You're the center of adrenaline
And I'm beginning to understand

Never want to fly
Never want to leave
Never want to say what you mean to me
Never want to run
Frightened to believe
You're the best thing about me

Walk on broken glass make my way through fire
These are the things I would do for love
Farewell peace of mind kiss goodbye to reason
Up is down the impossible occurs each day
This intoxication thrills me
I only pray it doesn't kill me

Never want to fly
Never want to leave
Never want to say what you mean to me
Never want to run
Frightened to believe
You're the best thing about me

You're the center of adrenaline
And I'm beginning to understand
You could be the best thing about me

Never want to fly
Never want to leave
Never want to say what you mean to me
Never want to run
Frightened to believe
You're the best thing about me

You could be the best thing about me
What if you're the best thing about me?

Be strong, be faithful.


October 12, 2008

Promises, Promises

As dictated by Faranza Syns

I promised Afzy I'm gonna resume studying by 9 p.m. I have approximately 30 minutes left to grant that promise. Hmm... somehow I feel it's getting harder and harder to do so.

Thanks for the non-existent copy of Karma Sutra, Laine. I'll cherish it as you pass on. XD. Don't die, ok, Laine? Although I might seem like a woman of the world, it doesn't really make me eager to read the Karma Sutra. I'm still somewhat clean, ok.

Well, a bit tainted, but not much. ;p

I'm gonna post about the EdBoard farewell soon, but maybe not this week. Maybe on Friday when I WON'T BE STUDYING. Gah, Bio! You suck all the way to hell!

And Additional Maths, too. Oooh, why can't I just drop it? Psychology has nothing to do with Mathematics. Even if I do take up Psychiatry, what I need is Bio and maybe a bit of Chemistry. Blueks. =P Addmaths, you suck.

It's stupid waiting for a word from someone who's not speaking to you. =_=''... Forget it. It was just me being random.

I miss Varun. Funny. He just came up out of nowhere. And I wasn't really referring to him. Up there. Or in any other post. Okay, I'll just shut up now.

Warrgh, now I feel like talking to Varun. Maybe I'll check if he's online.

You promised me heaven; I would have just settled for the haven in your heart.
Yes, just the haven.


October 10, 2008

Oprah, Be Proud of Me.

As dictated by Faranza Syns


I just remembered that's what I said when I was sewing the school badge onto my blazer whilst memorizing the Luqman verse from the Quran.

"I'm multi-tasking. Oprah's gonna be so proud of me."

Haha. ;p

I finally listened properly to Break Even on Julia's blog.

A line got to me.

Cuz when a heart breaks, no it don't break even.
- Break Even, The Script.

So true. It got me to thinking. When you fall in love, it's a like promise, a bonding, between two hearts. Then, I imagined that when you're in love, you break off a part of your heart, and sew it together with a part of your love's heart. I know, stupid simile, but bear with me. :)

So, when one wants to leave, surely they have to retrieve the piece of their heart that they had combined with the other.

But it's impossible. You're already so tightly bonded.

So what do you do? You break away fast and hard.

Take a piece of paper, and rip it in the middle. Does it tear evenly with a straight line running through it? Hell, no.

One part gets a bigger chunk than the other.

One heart gets away being fuller than the other.

Which one would heal faster? That's an idiot's question.

I guess it's something everyone's afraid of. Who would be hurt more? We keep on trying to save our own asses, we barely spare a thought about the other injured party. I'm not condemning, just saying what I know I am myself.

It's scary falling in love. Love brings you higher. But you know in the end, what goes up, always comes down. And who'll be crippled on the ground?

But despite all of that, we still fall in love, don't we? :) Us humans are silly creatures. ;p

Loving you was a beautiful feeling. It had it's ups and downs, and now that I'm stronger, I appreciate it more. We got through the bad times, and I'm proud of us. I'm sure there will be other down-hill moments. But we got through it, and because we did, I love you more. Though I doubt you at times, it's not going to stop me from holding out my hand to you. Just grasp it, and we'll get by.

Heck, I don't want Oprah to be proud of me.

I want you to be proud of me.

p/s: Seven days, and counting. nyekkk ;p! (for all of you who don't know... don't bother. Haha)