September 11, 2008

Title? Go to hell.

As dictated by Faranza Syns

I feel like murdering someone. And it's not my brother, either.

If there were a rope somewhere... I might make use of it.

I feel so depressed right now. I don't have anyone, and I don't want anyone. This isn't the first time I felt like crying at school. Don't bother to help me guys. I don't think I'm worth saving. If you guys dislike me so much,fine. I get it. I'm a loser. I'm worthless. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. So what? Those are my feelings. I'm honest with it. I'm sorry if you got hurt because of it, but just eff off. I don't need help.

You know the worst feeling on earth? Feeling alone. Feeling so darn frustrated. Feeling melancholic, when all you want to do is actually laugh, but you just can't open your mouth and say it.

I hate myself for caring so much. I hate myself for trying too hard. Trying too hard to blend into things, when I know I'll never fit in anywhere. I'm just a black dot in a myriad of white light. I just ruin things. I'm a hanger-on. I know I butt into you guys' lives sometimes. I'm sorry. I apologise, but I couldn't help it. I'll never fit in anywhere. I'll never find a place just fitted for me.

There are reasons why I don't care. Because when I do, it starts hurting me. It's been hurting me for a long, long time. I hate caring. I just hate myself for continuously caring. I just hate it.

I'm tired. And I feel sick. I don't see how I could have pretended for so long to love life. I'm just so tired. Maybe sleep is better than living.

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