When You Want for Naught

When You Want for Naught

As dictated by Faranza Syns

I once had a senior who said the words so profound, it changed my life forever. Well, it was more of a chain of words. But they changed me all the same.

He had said, “That’s my girlfriend from my Transition Era.”

And also, “That’s my girlfriend from my Era of Glory.”

And let’s not forget, “Wait, I can’t remember which girlfriend this one is.”

Mind you, we were sitting in a group when he made these revelations. I don’t know why I was so dumbfounded by the fact that he actually had a love-live—after all, he was the school’s top-achiever. It was just that he achieved too much that I couldn’t fit in “romance” anywhere else in his life.

Silly me.

Half the school’s X-chromosome species was in love with him. And I’m one of the poor bastards.

Me and my bosom buddy CK.

We were mortified by what he had said that suddenly-not-so-fine afternoon. I remember standing still, stunned then I remember thinking oh, crap, looking up at CK. How’s she taking this?

Pretty darned well, I’d say. We both laughed over what he said.

That is, until we were on our way home inside my mother’s car. That’s when the dissing began.

“Well,” I began. “That was surprising.”

She nodded. “Pretty much.”

There was silence for a second.

“That arse!”

“Era of Glory? What does he think is? The Meiji Emperor?”

“How many eras does a secondary-school student have in his 17-years of life anyway?”

“Transition Era? Puh-lease!”

But as Mama drove nearer and nearer to CK’s house, our heated ridicule of the one guy we simultaneously fell in love with dwindled down to resigned looks out the window.

I don’t know why, but I only just realised this now.

He was out of our league.

“You know what?” I had whispered, just as CK was about to step out.

“What?” she asked quietly.

I frowned and shook my head with a small tired smile. “I’ve never felt so insignificant in my life.”

Out of all the girls in his life, he never once took a look at me. It was like my long-standing crush counted for nothing. Those agonising years of butterflies and dysfunctional-tongue trauma whenever he was around was just a stupid thing compared to his huge, momentous eras.

On a quiet tone, CK replied. “Me, too, darls. Me, too.”

We embraced tightly for a moment, then she got off, waving as Mama drove on.

A silent avowal was sealed with that embrace.

Number one: secondary school is only once. Cherish it, go all-out.

Our senior certainly did, judging from his countless eras.

Number two: Play in your court only. Turn your back to those out of your league.

Like our senior.

Believe me, you have no idea how small it would make you feel if you faced what me and CK was to go through that day. My step-sister used to say “once bitten, twice shy” all the time when her friends asked her why she wasn’t dating anymore. I had no idea what she meant by that. I asked her what it was, but she just smiled and did the century-old trick of distraction by buying me a Popsicle. Like the eager kid I was, I just skipped off, happy enough for the moment. But I still didn’t understand why people would be twice shy after getting bitten once.

I think I’m starting to understand.

I have to thank our senior for that.

________________________


Like I wrote at the tag, this is a prologue of a story of mine. "Two Way Door" I think. *grin*. There have been many renditions of this story. The first version turned out with too many characters, it was starting to confuse me. (Okay, this is what happens when you promise people they'll come out in your novels). So I ripped that off, and began anew. This is the first (okay, maybe not the first, but definitely the most profound) time I'm putting in something that really meant a lot to me in a novel.


Actually, this was written based on a true story. Well, true enough to make me consider making "once bitten, twice shy" a very huge part of this story. The prologue is true, but what comes up next is all fiction. Tell me what you guys think, okay? And please, please leave a comment at my blog, and not at the CBox? Pretty pretty please? With cherry, and what-ever-you-want on top?



Why would I run?