December 17, 2008

Removing the masks, tending to the cracks.

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Had the most illuminating chat with E Von just now. Very, very illuminating. Haha. Thanks for your support, babe. ;p

And I've accumulated another affair.

Welcome to the ranks of us promiscuous creatures, E Von. She's my 8th affair. One would think I have a voracious appetite. But no. She was miffed she wasn't included in my list of affairs. XD

Kisses to my 8th Affair!

(And yes, it's the Assistant Head Prefect, C. E Von.)

I'm listening to classical, dead-people music, due to an equally dead man, Tarrant. Toccata and Fugue in D Minor. You know those horror movies where you hear the clash of organ keys that go so freaky? I mean, like... sheeh, just google the damn piece, if you wanna know which one it is.

I'm still all for Canon. Johann Pachelbel, you are AY-MAY-ZING.

_____________________

*Takes deep breath*

I've been having really... bad dreams, lately. Very graphic, and so not meant for kids.

Yes, there are... err... very adult materials in it. But they are gory. Very very gory. I don't know why I keep having these tyoe of dreams. Everytime I close my eyes, it'll turn into a nightmare.

I can barely fall asleep at night with peace. I'll have to wait until 2 o'clock till I can finally get a little shut-eye.

And heck, I've been listening to Disturbia since 6 in the evening. My mood's rather raw. Shite.


______________


Okay, shut Disturbia. I'm putting on Haru Haru (Day After Day) by Big Bang. Sweet sound to the ears.

This morning, was awaken by mom.

Ma: Nanti masak nasi cukup untuk semua orang. Panaskan kari, sayur dah ada. Nanti masak telur. Untuk lunch, tau.

Me: *groggily staring at ceiling* Mmm...

Ma: Breakfast dah ada dah.

Me: Mmm... K.



Then I fell asleep again. I seem to be able to do that: wake up momentarily, eyes wide, absorb relevant information, then sleep again for three hours or so. And wake up remembering each syllable like it had been played over and over inside my head.

Ma had a class for the whole day, and originally, my brother was supposed to go buy lunch for us. Then,

Ma: Abang keluar hari ni tau.

Me: Mmmm... ?


Then, she proceeded to telling me what to do.

While she was telling me stuff, I was weighing the wisdom of ordering McDonald's. Yes, without her permission. Then, as soon as she got up from my bed, I fell dead asleep, forgetting all else.

Then, I woke up. My bro was near my bed. Fuck, I seem to be approached a lot this morning.

"Please hang the clothes for me! Please, please , please!"

Ah. So he wants me to do his chores for him.

Me: Why? Oh I see. Ma told you to stuff, but you're wanting me to do it for you.

Ariff: I'll buy you Celcom RM10.

Me: Sure, you'll buy it for me, but you'll ask me to pay you back, later.

Ariff: No, I'll pay it myself. I swear!


Yes, although I come off pretty cheap, I still have my standards. Was thinking of raising it to 20, but my brother doesn't freaking work, so where would the money come from?

Me: Hmmmm.....

Ariff: Please? Please please plea--

Me: Fine, fine.

Ariff: Thank you!

Me: Hnnnnh.


Yes, this is the normal relationship in my house. I have to be bribed to do something. And he was most probably very late to see his girlfriend to actually result to RM10 to shut me up.


_________


She's planned it all. Just waiting for the lucky break. Then, it'll all be well, she promised.

"We'll meet there, fall desperately in love. Get rich, and get married."

If only things could go that way. I'm sorry it can't, love.

And here I am, writing this letter to you. Wishing things could be different.

But then again, life, is out of our hands. No matter how hard you have a hold on the reins,

It'll still turn, topsy-turvy,

Never an easy ride.

Apologies are paltry to your pain,

But forgive my sins,

For here I go, leaving you.

There will always be an end.

If only you'd understand.

I have to remove these masks. And tend to the cracks.

"I love you" are just words, part of the script.

They meant nothing.


-Cracks-



A/N: No, I was not emo when I wrote that. And it has nothing to do with my life, or my emotions. It's more of... Lucas' emotions. A character in my story that I'm currently working on. He's an enigma. Haha, even I can't understand him. Wrote that one out to further understand him, except it's coming out like he feels he's destined to hurt women. And he'll never fall in love. Okay, heck, I'm making him out worse.

I feel sorry for him. I mean, I came up with him, and when I explored him, he's actually pretty scarred inside. I'm so sorry, Luc! Through hell, or high water, I'll make you fall in love, I swear.


I'm so winning that bet, Afzan. Just you wait. And see. ;p

Sarang = love; love nest= sarang cinta.

What the hell?

Spending all of these days just to get over it.
And I feel just fine.

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