Virgins and Nots.
As dictated by Faranza Syns
Two days ago, someone asked me if I was a virgin.
If it were a girl, I would've joked about it. Heck, if a hot guy asked, I would have joked about it, too. I mean, puh-lease, am I supposed to actually answer that, and at the same time feel embarrassed or proud? Pfft. Virginity's never been an issue in my life. Ahem.
But anyways, the person who asked me was apparently a virgin-guy. It basically means a guy who's never seen/had/encountered any action in his life, up to his oh-so-great age of 18. Ahem.
At that point, I was already annoyed like hell due to his very, very bad english, and his very, very direct proposition of being my boyfriend (which is kinda silly, because who knows if I run a gigolo ring or something? I'd trick him into joining, except I'd only be partial to well-spoken english hotties. Okay, why are we discussing this?) He starts up being mushy with a "I wanna stay with you" line. Which was supposed to be "I just wanna be with you." Trust that guy to ruin a good cliche.
I was tactful since the beginning, acting like some honorary step-sister who had a younger brother who's a bit too ahem to think straight. Not to mention naively stupid. I said, "let's just be friends first." Because hey, there's practically sub-zero chance for it to develop into anything beyond acquaintanceship. So I masterfully dodged his questions, and the "OMG it was so expected I didn't bat an eyelid" request of seeing my picture. Ahem, I acted like a prude up till that question.
But when he came to the "V" question, I was wryly smiling at how silly this guy was being. It's not like I haven't heard of him. One of his "less than three days" girlfriends had told me about him, and naturally I managed to avoid him up till then. He seems to be hung up over the question of virginity. And he seems to be displaying his own virginity with quite some measure of pride, too. It's either he's lying about it just to butter girls up, or he's prepared to use it for bartering.
Who knows the twisted mind of a male-virgin?
Him: Anna...
Him: vergin?
Oh, COME ON. That doesn't even pass off as a question, for crying out loud.
Me: What kind of question is that?
Me: lol
Me: Why? Are you?
Him: Yea
Me: Well, I'm not answering that. It's a personal question
Him: No, u said we are friends.
At this point, what I really wanted to say was "Well, true enough. I don't see how it would matter, since we won't be having sex and you won't be finding out anytime soon."
But tactful me stayed tactful.
Me: Yeah. Lol. Friends don't entirely ask each other that kind of question.
Him: Need to know
Him: and cuz most girls I meet them not vergin
Me: Does it make a difference if they're a virgin or not?
Him: No.
Him: But now I know you're not.
Me: I won't even respond to that guess.
Though I doubt he was trying to trick me into anything. I was in half a mind to stamp him off as stupid, idiotic and sloth-slow.
Seriously, if a guy asked me one more time if I were a virgin, I'll just say "Last time I checked, I think I still had my hymen intact. Why? Wanna see?"
Because the question itself is stupid and senseless and seriously, what I said is true: it's not like we're about to have sex and you're gonna find out, so drop it.
Geeez, and I thought the only time I'd have to talk about virginity is with a certain someone whom I'll just just give the psedonym "Innocent".
*Sigh* Guys, seriously. One day, a girl is gonna counter you by saying "Are YOU a virgin?" and let's see you lie to her as she stares you down.
So, zip it, skippy, if you wanna stay in your loved-one's good graces.
If you don't touch the topic, I think I can guarantee a 90% chance of it never being an issue.
(Girls know how notorious some guys can be, so really, they don't expect anything more than a non-virgin.)
To those of you who want a virgin husband, you might have a long wait. They're scarce, and really, how are you supposed to find out? Posting up an Ad would be hilarious and interesting. Call me up when you decide to do it.
I need a real good laugh. And who knows? It might just work. ;)
Jaz: Ngah, do this linear equation. I couldn't get the answer.
Me: *grabs paper. scribbles.*
After half a minute,
Me: There. Got it. It's C.
Jaz: HOW DID YOU GET THE ANSWER?
Me: What? I just did this.
Jaz: HOW COULD YOU GET A NEGATIVE FOR THAT?!
Me: ... (3/2)a minus (4/2)a is equals to -(1/2)a
Jaz: BUT HOW COME--
Me: What's your mistake?
Me: ... Oi, how can 3/2 minus 2 become 1/2?
Jaz: BUT--
Me: YOU MAKE IT INTO SIMILAR FRACTIONS LA.
Jaz: BUT NO ONE TOLD ME!
Me: IT'S COMMON SENSE.
Jaz: THE TEACHER NEVER TAUGHT ME!
Me: HOW CAN 3/2 MINUS 2 BECOME 1/2? LOGIC, JAZ.
This is a very normal scenario, mind. Usually, I answer coolly and show her how to answer it. But since I felt like it, I rose my voice.
It's normal. A sign of sibling affection, if you will.
....
God knows she started it first.
*Note: My sister's no idiot in maths. She once represented the state for an international Math event. She was just PO-ed that I got one small portion of the otherwise very tough question right. I love it when I beat her. Shows that there's still a God.
Tarrant: Oh, and I'm at an Anime Marathon. And our library has over 700GB of anime.
Me: Good Gawd, the fact that you have time to indulge in that kind of marathon is a big insult to my supposedly carefree life.
Because, really, I thought Tarrant was supposed to be the harried and haggard one? The one who's not supposed to have time to even care about his abundance of pimples anymore (no, don't kill me, Tarr, I know your skin's not that bad. It's just a metaphor) because he's too busy finishing assignments? I thought he was supposed to be the one with the stick up his heinie?
But he's currently enjoying himself immensely.
Why me?
There's something awfully wrong here.
I have his number,
But I'm not gonna call.
What? Do you want me to willingly murder my rep?
Don't be a baby;
Remember what you told me.
If it were a girl, I would've joked about it. Heck, if a hot guy asked, I would have joked about it, too. I mean, puh-lease, am I supposed to actually answer that, and at the same time feel embarrassed or proud? Pfft. Virginity's never been an issue in my life. Ahem.
But anyways, the person who asked me was apparently a virgin-guy. It basically means a guy who's never seen/had/encountered any action in his life, up to his oh-so-great age of 18. Ahem.
HIM: Are you a vergin?
At that point, I was already annoyed like hell due to his very, very bad english, and his very, very direct proposition of being my boyfriend (which is kinda silly, because who knows if I run a gigolo ring or something? I'd trick him into joining, except I'd only be partial to well-spoken english hotties. Okay, why are we discussing this?) He starts up being mushy with a "I wanna stay with you" line. Which was supposed to be "I just wanna be with you." Trust that guy to ruin a good cliche.
I was tactful since the beginning, acting like some honorary step-sister who had a younger brother who's a bit too ahem to think straight. Not to mention naively stupid. I said, "let's just be friends first." Because hey, there's practically sub-zero chance for it to develop into anything beyond acquaintanceship. So I masterfully dodged his questions, and the "OMG it was so expected I didn't bat an eyelid" request of seeing my picture. Ahem, I acted like a prude up till that question.
But when he came to the "V" question, I was wryly smiling at how silly this guy was being. It's not like I haven't heard of him. One of his "less than three days" girlfriends had told me about him, and naturally I managed to avoid him up till then. He seems to be hung up over the question of virginity. And he seems to be displaying his own virginity with quite some measure of pride, too. It's either he's lying about it just to butter girls up, or he's prepared to use it for bartering.
Who knows the twisted mind of a male-virgin?
Him: Anna...
Him: vergin?
Oh, COME ON. That doesn't even pass off as a question, for crying out loud.
Me: What kind of question is that?
Me: lol
Me: Why? Are you?
Him: Yea
Me: Well, I'm not answering that. It's a personal question
Him: No, u said we are friends.
At this point, what I really wanted to say was "Well, true enough. I don't see how it would matter, since we won't be having sex and you won't be finding out anytime soon."
But tactful me stayed tactful.
Me: Yeah. Lol. Friends don't entirely ask each other that kind of question.
Him: Need to know
Him: and cuz most girls I meet them not vergin
Me: Does it make a difference if they're a virgin or not?
Him: No.
Him: But now I know you're not.
Me: I won't even respond to that guess.
Though I doubt he was trying to trick me into anything. I was in half a mind to stamp him off as stupid, idiotic and sloth-slow.
Seriously, if a guy asked me one more time if I were a virgin, I'll just say "Last time I checked, I think I still had my hymen intact. Why? Wanna see?"
Because the question itself is stupid and senseless and seriously, what I said is true: it's not like we're about to have sex and you're gonna find out, so drop it.
Geeez, and I thought the only time I'd have to talk about virginity is with a certain someone whom I'll just just give the psedonym "Innocent".
*Sigh* Guys, seriously. One day, a girl is gonna counter you by saying "Are YOU a virgin?" and let's see you lie to her as she stares you down.
So, zip it, skippy, if you wanna stay in your loved-one's good graces.
If you don't touch the topic, I think I can guarantee a 90% chance of it never being an issue.
(Girls know how notorious some guys can be, so really, they don't expect anything more than a non-virgin.)
To those of you who want a virgin husband, you might have a long wait. They're scarce, and really, how are you supposed to find out? Posting up an Ad would be hilarious and interesting. Call me up when you decide to do it.
I need a real good laugh. And who knows? It might just work. ;)
_____________________________________
Jaz: Ngah, do this linear equation. I couldn't get the answer.
Me: *grabs paper. scribbles.*
After half a minute,
Me: There. Got it. It's C.
Jaz: HOW DID YOU GET THE ANSWER?
Me: What? I just did this.
Jaz: HOW COULD YOU GET A NEGATIVE FOR THAT?!
Me: ... (3/2)a minus (4/2)a is equals to -(1/2)a
Jaz: BUT HOW COME--
Me: What's your mistake?
(3/2)a - 2a = (1/2)a
Me: ... Oi, how can 3/2 minus 2 become 1/2?
Jaz: BUT--
Me: YOU MAKE IT INTO SIMILAR FRACTIONS LA.
Jaz: BUT NO ONE TOLD ME!
Me: IT'S COMMON SENSE.
Jaz: THE TEACHER NEVER TAUGHT ME!
Me: HOW CAN 3/2 MINUS 2 BECOME 1/2? LOGIC, JAZ.
This is a very normal scenario, mind. Usually, I answer coolly and show her how to answer it. But since I felt like it, I rose my voice.
It's normal. A sign of sibling affection, if you will.
....
God knows she started it first.
*Note: My sister's no idiot in maths. She once represented the state for an international Math event. She was just PO-ed that I got one small portion of the otherwise very tough question right. I love it when I beat her. Shows that there's still a God.
______________________________________
Tarrant: Oh, and I'm at an Anime Marathon. And our library has over 700GB of anime.
Me: Good Gawd, the fact that you have time to indulge in that kind of marathon is a big insult to my supposedly carefree life.
Because, really, I thought Tarrant was supposed to be the harried and haggard one? The one who's not supposed to have time to even care about his abundance of pimples anymore (no, don't kill me, Tarr, I know your skin's not that bad. It's just a metaphor) because he's too busy finishing assignments? I thought he was supposed to be the one with the stick up his heinie?
But he's currently enjoying himself immensely.
Why me?
There's something awfully wrong here.
___________________________________
I have his number,
But I'm not gonna call.
What? Do you want me to willingly murder my rep?
Don't be a baby;
Remember what you told me.
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