May 28, 2009

Reverse.

As dictated by Faranza Syns

I found myself in a very... "dream-fulfilling" position.

I have never had so many guys surround my table before.

First came Yee Ming. Then came Eugene. Then came Shane.

And then came Kessler and Shukran and... Ian?

Well, you get the idea.


Me: OMG, look at my desk. It's full of males. All of you are focused here!

Eugene: Fulfills your every fantasy, eh?




No.

None of you have ever managed to feature (even as the bestboy) in my fantasies.

I suppose the reason they were all swarming my table was because of their innate mentality that resembles a herd. One here, and everyone follows. Of course, I'm not scorning them. It's somewhat adorable how they follow each other around. Okay, maybe yes, I was funning them a little. But who's to say the herd mentality they have does not benefit the female race?

But I won't get into details as this might offend my male counterparts.

Yee Ming spied with his beautiful-without-spectacles eyes my whole stack of Mills and Boons. Humorously, he regards them as porn books. Good grief, if something as tame as MnB is wild, thrashy, and could be passed-off as "porn", I wonder what he would call real porn.

I won't even venture a guess at that. No, it just kills my brain cells trying to figure out what's so wrong with reading romance.

Males watch porn, but females can't read romance? Come-freakin-on! That's double standard!


Nurul: OMG, Colby is soooo hot!

Me: OMG, yes YES! He is SO hot.

Yee Ming: I'll never understand women.



And apparently, I'll never understand men as well.


Yee Ming: Now, Jessica Alba-- that's good stuff.


Silence.

Me: EWW. That sounds so eugh.

Nurul: Yeah, eww!

Yee Ming: Well, us guys, we devour. It's like eating, tasting, savouring--

Me: EWW EWWW EWWWW DON'TSAYANOTHERWORD-- NOTANOTHERWORD!



Remember those times when mommy used to say that the easiest way to man's heart is their stomach? Rejoice, women. Yee Ming has just clarified that piece of irrefutable mother-to-daughter piece of advice. Who knew mommy was so smart, eh? Of course, the fact that they landed our daddies and got right around to making us all pretty much answers that otherwise very stupid question.

Anyways, I have just accepted a bribe at school. Went for the EduBox training classes again. And got into a tiff with the instructor. There was apparently a HUGE misunderstanding about the payment of fees, and I got really pissed. Which daft human wouldn't be when they felt they had just been duped? I stalked over to my seat and fumed. Then watched House Season 5 with Amanda.

By that moment of time, all I wanted to do was choke House for being so stubbornly stupid (in an awesome kind of way) and for some reason, that vision fazed in and fazed out with visions of me stomping on our instructor for the day. People usually kill the messenger, you know. Bearer of bad news are never safe. That's why people invented IM's and Internet. So that you could be spared the brunt of a person's rage.

But that aside, I was pissed off with her.

Until I found out she watches House as well. And she had an opinion on it, too. I grudgingly began opening channels for communication, then.

Then, I found out she plays DOTA. Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have gotten mad at her. EduBox cheated me. Not her.

But I finally forgave her when she bribed me with RM 3. Amanda objected crassly when I said it was a bribe, because the instructor did promise to give three ringgit to the person who answers her questions correctly. I--apparently--answered correctly. At the time, I wasn't as hostile as before. She watches House. I can begin to forgive anyone who does. At first, I thought she was merely joking about giving us all RM 3. But then she whipped out her purse and extracted RM 3.
Talk about making a quick buck.

Yee Ming got RM 5, though, because she had no small change. NOT. FAIR.

Anyways, when you strip those notions bare of the glitter and glamour, it is basically a bribe. A bribe for you to keep coming to her class. A bribe for you to shut up when she speaks and to listen.

But to tell the truth, her being herself would've sufficed to get us all coming back. Our previous two intructors have been so dreary, they propelled me to watch Slumdog Millionaire while they were teaching. Their inability to gain attention was so bored-tears inducing that I was so ready to quit.

And they don't entirely have that great a sense of fashion (a shallow point of view, but a point of view, nonetheless).

This new instructor was awesome. She walks around, gets our attention, and gets us involved. When we couldn't understand, she got us to sit at the front and she showed us the way, per se.

And she bribes us. Definitely uber cool.


___________________________________


I. Cannot. Believe it.

I fit into Mel T's blazer. MEL T'S BLAZER.

Mel, let's exchange blazers! Yours is ten times more comfortable, and ten times sexy looking. Ah. Want. It.

I have a feeling mine was a blazer tailored for guys. It's so tight around the hips, I feel like suffocating at times.

Yours was... a work of art.

Now, I think I'll go cry over this; the injustice of life. I have lived all my life thinking I'll never look sexy. Thinking no blazer will fit me. Oh, life! You cruel, cruel thing!

But your blazer has showed me the light. I will now exercise ten times harder. When I finally get to fit into my blazer, I will hug you for-freakin-ever.

And hey, I look sexeh, eh, in that picture, Laine?

(OMG, EGO.)

Anyways, can't wait for tomorrow. Mel, I wanna switch blazers with you once in a while!

Please don't be stupefied when you find that this blog gets very infrequent updates at times. I cannot promise consistency, so let's just go with it, eh?


__________________________________


Mel: I want European guys.

Laine: I'm still hooked on my *insert name of school* guy.

Me: Gawd, everyone has their own obsession.

Aja: *nods* But I'm lazy to think about that. Getting involved... malas.

Me: *nods* I've never been involved too, so...

Laine & Aja : ELEH. What's those postscripts on your blog for?

Me: *blink* What?

Laine: You know, those small lettered sentences on your blog at the bottommmmmm?

Me: Oh. Well. THAT'S NOTHING.

Laine: Hah! Those small-lettered things are what people look forward to reading to most, okay!

Aja: Because's it's at the bottom, and it's SMALL.

Me:... Ah. I see.



It seems that I have underestimated the power of the last words. So, as a closing to this post,




I don't want to have a relationship,
I want a hot, sweaty, sexy affair.
Capisce?

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