July 23, 2009

La Petite Mort

As dictated by Faranza Syns

If you understand my post-title (without having to google it), then you know me well.


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A few days ago, we had a Bio class. Since everyone else was busy with RIMUP, nearly half the class was missing (including those who weren't involved with the whole RIMUP programme.) Despite all that, Pn Juliana continued on with the class.

Oh and what horrors we faced.

Has anyone ever seen a placenta? Yes? No?



Well, now you have.

It is gory. I can't imagine such a thing would be delivered by me one day, right after giving birth to my baby.

Some smartass said: "You know when you fulfill your biological prerogative you're going to generate one anyways."

Not entirely comforting. Okay, it might just be all the blood and gore that I'm opposed to. But really, I've heard (by word of mouth) that people use placentas to get clean, smooth skin.

Pardon me, I know it has nutrients. Sure. But it's been bathed in blood, inside the female's womb, has been there for months, and was ejected through the vagina, of all orifices.

I would never inject the essence of something from my own stomach (or anyone else's for that matter) just to get clean, smooth skin.

And certainly not something ejected from ANY of the human OR animal orifices (unless they are really harmless and don't look icky. Placentas look icky. I rest my case.)

And we saw an image of sperms trying to plant themselves within an egg. The image was captured using an electron microscope. The image was so ... traumatising, it put all of us off the thought of having sex for... oh, maybe a decade to come. It all looked to squiggly and... icky. Icky. Good God, why does reproduction look so icky?

And why does the image of sperms give me the chills?

Anyways, as the class progressed, each of us cracked a joke or two.

Pn Juliana: And please don't be surprised, ya. Some fathers, when in the delivery room, they faint, you know.

And really, that just set off a chain of laughter. And also, that set off our imagination.

How would Daniel, the class's 2nd clown (because I think the 1st clown-cum-sweetheart is Chi Hoe) , react when his wife delivers his baby?


Possible scenario 1:

Daniel looks away with agony. And faints.


Possible scenario 2:

Daniel: Push, push!

...and when the baby comes out, he grabs it, fawns over it, and brings it away to show it off, leaving his tired wife gaping after him. Then, giving up (in other words, understanding her husband fully), she'd fall dead asleep, and vow to kill him later on.


Possible scenario 3:

Daniel: Yeah, baby! Yeah baby! Come on! Push!

(and when the baby comes out)

Daniel: Awe~some~

... It just might happen. Since he so loves to use the word "awesome" on a regular day, I'm sure he'd use it on the event of his first child's birth. It is, after all, awesome.



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I went to see Pn Prema today.

I GOT 30/30 FOR MY ORAL EXAMINATIONS!

I feel like I just went through my own special version of la petite mort.

Who needs sex when you can feel the same sensation of euphoria just by getting a full score for your oral exams?

Pn Prema: The pentaksir kawasan (district evaluator?) told me that she had listened carefully, and tried to look for mistakes in you girls (me and Amanda) but she couldn't find any.

AHHA!

Take THAT, Habibah! Eat crud and keel over!

Now, I am at peace with myself.

Thank you. So, the agony was worth it.

After all, I finally got my 'little death'.





disclaimer: image of placenta was taken from plysandplus.wordpress.com
. Apparently this person loves placentas.



Petite mort, petite mort,
You kill me with perfection.

6 comments:

Afzy said...

best giler.. u guys actually studied dat dy... ;) i think for our danny? NUMBA 3!!NUMBA 3!!

Faranza Syns said...

Haha, we were sitting at the back and discussing it. Funny.

And yes, the most Danny-like situation is Number 3. xD

Anonymous said...

hey fary, glad that u did well for the oral examination. congratulations! =)

Faranza Syns said...

Lol, I know you!

Haha. Thanks, E Von. Muahx, love you! ;p

Anonymous said...

ROFL ! omg, dan's funny. =D i miss yoooou too, hun. <3

. said...

farr farr!
i gave up and just bought a new hp. sms me coz i dun hv yr number lol. hurry dubs!