December 14, 2009

Swagger

As dictated by Faranza Syns

Need a natural moisturizer for your lips? Easy. Just wear a face mask (you know, those thingamajigs that seem to be produced thousand-fold whenever there's a pandemic? Yeah, those suckers) when you clean your room.

Oh, make sure to breathe very heavily. A bit unhealthy, but still, it keeps the dust out, keeps the germs in and more importantly, keeps the stale water vapour trapped.

Voila - natural moisture.

The beauty of it is, it obeys the law beauty: it's disgusting - it's agonizing - it'll make you beautiful. 97.5% guaranteed.

What I was going to say for this post was "Yay. I cleaned my room. Whoot." You know all those exam papers we've painstakingly kept for "future references"? That's gone. Those exercise books? Kapoof. Those novels I've written so far? Gone off the deep end. Those souvenirs from Sports Day (who the hell started the trend of BEGGING for souvenirs from other houses anyways)? That's already in the trash. Remember those trophies and medals we got during various events, competitions, debate etc.? YEAH, those.

Hell no. Who's crazy enough to throw those away?

But that aside, my room is now - in the strictest, most truthful sense of the word - clean.

Yay.

(Has anyone noticed that I sound extremely blase in this whole post?)



They are idiots.

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