The Bitter Pill
As dictated by Faranza Syns
It's not My Joyance.
It's Our Joyance.
Ma and Dad's been studying Arabic. Grammar, conversations, the whole she-bang. And so, we were at the table, discussing Arabic words. Mostly, I oohed, aahed and nodded, because hey, even though I went to Extra Classes for Islamic Studies, I basically managed to unfailingly flunk each Arabic paper dished out by the school.
This session of Arabic discussion is Dad's favourite time. He gets to preen, and he loves it. And since we love him, we humour him.
He explained the intricacies of an added syllable or vowel in an Arabic phrase, and damn, his eyes lighted up. It's not hard to see where we get our sense of humour from.
And then we suddenly got to the subject of our names.
To think that my parents had once looked down at me and decided to name me their joy.
Which makes my heart break thinking of the many things I've done to break theirs.
Maybe I'm not meant to be their joy of life after all.
Sorry doesn't cut it.
But maybe you'll still forgive me.
It's Our Joyance.
Ma and Dad's been studying Arabic. Grammar, conversations, the whole she-bang. And so, we were at the table, discussing Arabic words. Mostly, I oohed, aahed and nodded, because hey, even though I went to Extra Classes for Islamic Studies, I basically managed to unfailingly flunk each Arabic paper dished out by the school.
This session of Arabic discussion is Dad's favourite time. He gets to preen, and he loves it. And since we love him, we humour him.
He explained the intricacies of an added syllable or vowel in an Arabic phrase, and damn, his eyes lighted up. It's not hard to see where we get our sense of humour from.
And then we suddenly got to the subject of our names.
Ma: Ain is eyes, I believe.
Me: So Aunt Ainaa's name means Our Eyes? [aghast]
Dad: [gives reproachful look] There's a difference between Ainaa and Aina.
Right. Like the person who failed Arab would know.
Ma: People of the olden times merely give their children names from Quran. Sometimes, they barely know the meaning, as long as it sounds wonderful.
Dad: Don't ever give your children the name Syah.
Me: [blinks eyes] Why? [thinks of Sultan Alauddin Riayat SYAH]
Dad: It basically means Evil. So it means Sejahat Manusia, the Most Evil of Men.
Me: Eeek. [Thinks of Sultan Mahmud Syah]
Dad: Precisely.
Dad: [pauses] Wait, how did Farhani (base word of Farhana, which means happiness) become Farhana?
Ma: Yeah?
Ma & Dad: [Looks at me]
Like the person who failed Arab would magically be privy to this.
Dad: Oh ya. It's not My Joyance. the -na in the name makes it mean Our Joyance.
To think that my parents had once looked down at me and decided to name me their joy.
Which makes my heart break thinking of the many things I've done to break theirs.
Maybe I'm not meant to be their joy of life after all.
Sorry doesn't cut it.
But maybe you'll still forgive me.
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