As dictated by
Faranza Syns
We lost for debate. There. I said it out loud.
Can't say how devastated E Von and Dharr was. Me? I just feel angry that we lost--that I had to see those two cry their hearts out. But I respect them, they took it all with a raised head, not with a tail tucked between their legs, scampering off to defeat. E Von was really mad about the results. it seemed uber lopsided. Maybe it was. but maybe it wasn't. Can't tell lest you have eyes everywhere that can see into everyone.
We worked ourselves to the bone, just to come out defeated.
Well, that's life. and debate-- there's gotta be winner and definitely someone who has to forfeit the fight.
I thought E Von was gonna stay depressed. But I got an SMS from her. "Hey, Farhana. Tq so much for ur effort in debate. It's been a pleasure working with the whole lot of u. Not to mention those 'special' conversations (i laughed my arse off at this). In a way, you hv oso enlightened me in many ways. So tq."
ahahaha. ah, well, actually, that's as far as I got at that time cuz my phone was too full already. So I sms-ed her. "u sound as if we won't c each other again. haha. we'll stil c each othr at rollcall and u're still the Editor for EdBoard. well, life is ups and downs. we just gotta pace ourselves thru it."
I thought that SHE was the one who needed comfort. But it turns out, when i finally got the full msg, SHE was trying to console me. ME, the person who didn't shed a single tear when she and Dharr were crying their disappointment out. Maybe she thought that I wud be crying at home. But no, i just stayed furious, and didn't ponder too much on debate. When I start thinking about it, i keep myself busy. It is painful. I mean, one of the adjudicators said, "You, you're weak."
I just nodded my head. I couldn't have challenged her to a duel at dawn now, could I?
But she is true. I lack the confidence. I lack the style. I'm still the same-old, brand new me. Shy, shy, shy to the roots. En. Shafie said, "Farhana, you need to be someone else out there! Throw away the shy Farhana and emerge as a CouncilLady."
I guess I flunked that. Bad, bad, bad 1st speaker.
But nevertheless, I don't hate debate. In some ways, it has helped me a lot. At least now I can think slightly more critically than before. And yes, debate has enlightened me, in many ways. I mean, we're all so close now. I used to hv the misconception that E Von might be uptight. But hey, she was just human. She HUMMED TO A SONG. believe me, that was a first in history that we have all seen such a sight. And compared to me, in some things, she is incredibly naive, amusingly so. But seeing that she did try to comfort me, and she owns up to her mistakes and flaws, she is mature. She's the same age as me, but she's in form 5 -- tell me if that's not maturity rearing it's head from her shoulders.
Me, I'm closer to Dharr, made friends with Farah, laughed lots with Kim, got more sarcastic with Amanda, and knew Mr. Shafie. Oh, and got that speacial look that says "my, you're stubborn" from Ms. Nur.
Oh, n yeah, finally got reluctant replies to my sms from E Von. ahahahahaha, lord, those were her words. She's tight fisted, but she's the best senior-of-the-same-age you could ever have.
Since now I'm not skipping meals because of debate, and I'm not losing sleep to memorise my script, at least I can focus on my studies.
3 weeks and counting...
Uwaaaa, I hate tests!
Note that I was the only one with the same coloured skirt n blazer.
Note that I was the only one with the same coloured skirt n blazer.
we took pictures...
we took pictures...
