February 4, 2009

Unrepentantly

As dictated by Faranza Syns

I wonder why people make fun of all my obsessions?

Maybe because I laugh at them, too? Maybe it because they think my obsessions are childish, when all I want to do is show people a side of me that I had hoped to entrust them with.

Silly me.

Because all people seem to see is me smiling, making a joke out of life -- out of my life.

Like all and sundry is fine. Like every cloud has a silver lining. Well, news flash: silver linings usually make a cloud all the more heavier.

It bears on my heart at times when I have to laugh, laugh and laugh. When I have to make jokes of myself, of everything just to make you smile.

I'm tired. Didn't you know that?

Sure. Laugh at my obsessions. But did you ever think that I would smile a little bit wider at your words of encouragement rather than at your supposedly good-natured ribbing? That I would appreciate your constructive criticisms more than your groans of "ugh, Farhana, you're at it again?". Sure, Farhana doesn't get offended at all. She laughs it all off and just gets on with what she wants to do.

No. Actually, I'm tired. Fine. You don't like my obsessions? Zip it.

Teasing is fine. Once is hilarious. Twice is fun. Thrice is just damned annoying. So shut it, unless you really have an issue with what I do. Tell me, and we can discuss it over lunch or something. I promise I'll keep the Louisville slugger at home and not slug you with it in public.

Just because I smile, it doesn't mean I like what you do.

I'm just tired. Didn't you know?


Move away from the fray.

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